Yes, I Had A Miscarriage And Yes, I Flushed

I was not well prepared for what it would be like to have a miscarriage. I figured there would be blood, but I didn't realize how much. I assumed there would be cramping, but I didn't know it would be so intense. I had vague ideas of what it would be to have a miscarriage,…

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When Your Baby Dies You Get To Be Angry

The anger arrived three days after my daughter died. I sat in my hospital bed staring down at my arms. Purple and swollen from blown out veins and the IVs and tubes that saved my life. My skin, mottled and ugly, bearing the bruises of my battle with death. The battle that I only half…

In Our House, We Never Say “Don’t Cry”

We cry in this house. We cry when the grandma dies in Moana, we cry when we don't get our way, and we cry when we're tired. It doesn't matter if you're a toddler or an adult--everyone in our household cries. What happens when we cry? We comfort one another, we pass the tissues, we…

I Wish I Had Known That Stillbirth Was A Possibility

What I'm about to say might scare you and to be honest, it should. If you are pregnant or plan to be pregnant, there is a chance that your baby could be stillborn. Why am I telling you this? Because no one told me. Not even when I was on bedrest and doing everything I…

Inside The Mind Of A Woman Pregnant After Loss–What We Want To Say

Congratulations. Your co-worker, friend, or loved one are pregnant after their loss. You were (hopefully) there to support them when they experienced the heartbreak of their loss and now you’re thrilled to be there for them in this subsequent pregnancy. There are a million questions that you want to ask them. You want to talk…

Losing A Baby In A Pregnancy-Obsessed Society

Pregnancy announcements. Baby showers. Gender reveals. Maternity photoshoots. Creating registries. As soon as you see two lines, there are countless ways you are encouraged to prepare and celebrate your pregnancy and baby on the way. It seems like we can't get enough of women when they are expecting their little bundle (or bundles) of joy.…

Even Though My Baby Died, You Can Still Call Me ‘Mama’

I remember when I announced my pregnancy and you said, "Congratulations Mama." I remember when my bump started showing and you squealed, "You look so good, Mama!" I remember at my baby shower when you asked, "Are you ready for this Mama?" And then, I had to tell you that my baby died. You told…