Dorothy

Let me tell you about my daughter.

Her name is Dorothy Grace Helena Whalen.  She was born on February 22, 2016.  Although she never took a breath in our world, she left me breathless.  She had my lips.  It’s uncanny to see your lips on someone else’s face, but there they were.

When I was pregnant with her, I craved sweet things.  Cheesecake, ice cream, and french toast were favorites.  I would drink glass after glass of milk.  I couldn’t get enough.

My favorite time of day was laying back and feeling her kicks and her movements.  Sometimes, the cat would lie on my belly and Dorothy would come to life.  I miss that feeling.

She never stayed still during an ultrasound.  Her preferred position was to have her arms and legs thrown above her head.  It’s remarkable that a little girl who moved as much as she did, would come into the world so still.

She was tiny.  Tiny, but mighty.  A little spark that set my emotions ablaze.

It will always be my job to ensure she is never forgotten, even on the days when it feels like Mike and I are the only ones who remember.

It hurts to think about losing her.  It hurts to know that I’ll never know who she was going to be.  But it never hurts to remember her because that’s all I have.

Dorothy will always be my firstborn.  She will always be the one who made me a mother.