Today, I Chose Wonder

It’s cold out.  It’s really cold out.  Like, snuggled-under-a-blanket-with-Project-Runway-reruns-cold-out.  Today is the kind of day where you can get a lot of thinking done.  Sometimes that can be a dangerous thing for me.  Lately, my mind has a tendency to find itself forging a path through anxiety and stress.  But not today.  Today, I chose to daydream.  Today I let my mind drift through cautious optimism.  Today, I chose wonder.

Here are some of today’s musings, in no particular order:

I wonder if that old wives’ tale about heartburn equaling a baby head full of hair is true.  If it is, then my daughter may resemble Mr. Kotter.

I wonder who will get that reference.  Let me put a youthful spin on it: My daughter may resemble Questlove.

I wonder if Frances will be one of those kids who carefully watches from the sidelines or if she will be be one of those kids who impulsively dives in.

I wonder what doctors and nurses will be with us when we deliver.  Will it be one of the same doctors or nurses who were there for Dorothy’s birth?

I wonder if Edie knows that big changes are coming for our household.  Or, does she think that we have finally decided to give her a room of her own?

I wonder how many of my likes and Mike’s likes will be reflected in our little girl.  Will she appreciate a really good sci-fi offering that holds a strong narrative?  Will she understand that there is a Beatles song for every occasion?  Will she learn all the lines to every Christopher Guest movie with the ease and delight that we have?

I wonder if her hair will be like mine (straight as sticks, won’t hold a curl ever) or like her dad’s (adorably wavy and a total disaster in the morning).

I wonder, at what age is it appropriate to introduce a child to Monty Python.

I wonder what she’s doing in there.  I wonder how it’s possible for her arms AND legs to simultaneously feel like they are on opposite sides of my uterus and all tangled up together.

I wonder what it’s like to deliver in an actual delivery room and not in a room in the ICU.

I wonder how I will help my students put their snow clothes on if I get any bigger.  I think it’s time to really amp up our independent, self-care skills in Kindergarten.

I wonder what it’s like to deliver a baby when you know they will feel your skin and hear you say “I love you.”

I wonder how Frances will enter the world.  I wonder if she will know instantly how much she is loved and how much she is wanted.

I wonder if a cheeseburger from the bowling alley will be worth the inevitable heartburn.