Today, I Chose Wonder

It’s cold out.  It’s really cold out.  Like, snuggled-under-a-blanket-with-Project-Runway-reruns-cold-out.  Today is the kind of day where you can get a lot of thinking done.  Sometimes that can be a dangerous thing for me.  Lately, my mind has a tendency to find itself forging a path through anxiety and stress.  But not today.  Today, I chose to daydream.  Today I let my mind drift through cautious optimism.  Today, I chose wonder.

Here are some of today’s musings, in no particular order:

I wonder if that old wives’ tale about heartburn equaling a baby head full of hair is true.  If it is, then my daughter may resemble Mr. Kotter.

I wonder who will get that reference.  Let me put a youthful spin on it: My daughter may resemble Questlove.

I wonder if Frances will be one of those kids who carefully watches from the sidelines or if she will be be one of those kids who impulsively dives in.

I wonder what doctors and nurses will be with us when we deliver.  Will it be one of the same doctors or nurses who were there for Dorothy’s birth?

I wonder if Edie knows that big changes are coming for our household.  Or, does she think that we have finally decided to give her a room of her own?

I wonder how many of my likes and Mike’s likes will be reflected in our little girl.  Will she appreciate a really good sci-fi offering that holds a strong narrative?  Will she understand that there is a Beatles song for every occasion?  Will she learn all the lines to every Christopher Guest movie with the ease and delight that we have?

I wonder if her hair will be like mine (straight as sticks, won’t hold a curl ever) or like her dad’s (adorably wavy and a total disaster in the morning).

I wonder, at what age is it appropriate to introduce a child to Monty Python.

I wonder what she’s doing in there.  I wonder how it’s possible for her arms AND legs to simultaneously feel like they are on opposite sides of my uterus and all tangled up together.

I wonder what it’s like to deliver in an actual delivery room and not in a room in the ICU.

I wonder how I will help my students put their snow clothes on if I get any bigger.  I think it’s time to really amp up our independent, self-care skills in Kindergarten.

I wonder what it’s like to deliver a baby when you know they will feel your skin and hear you say “I love you.”

I wonder how Frances will enter the world.  I wonder if she will know instantly how much she is loved and how much she is wanted.

I wonder if a cheeseburger from the bowling alley will be worth the inevitable heartburn.



One thought on “Today, I Chose Wonder

  1. Heartburn (for me)= lots of hair.

    If Frances has your hair, she’ll be just as lucky. Long, beautiful and resembling dark chocolate.

    Will she know how much she is loved and wanted? No doubt there.

    If it was a great cheeseburger -definitely

    Love reading your thoughts Rachel.

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