October is coming to a close and with the last of its waning light goes Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. November and the impending holiday season are coming and they have already started to cast their shadow on the light we worked so hard to shine.
October is an exhausting month. I know I am not alone in feeling this way. Our whole community begins the month so strong and so assertive. Our message of love and support rings loud and clear. And then, reality sets in.
The intensity of our light flickers. We get tired, we overextend ourselves, and we step back. But, we do not do this with shame. We share our weakness so that others can help us shine.
This is why I love this community. No one pretends to be stronger than they are. We are so honest in our vulnerability. That’s what makes us so strong.
When our voices grow weak, we speak up. When our eyes sting from the tears, we help each other find beauty. When our hearts grow heavy, we love each other even more.
The most difficult thing about October is that when it ends we are faced with a year of Octobers. When the rest of the world moves on to the next cause, we are left to grieve. Gone are the pinks and blues that have brightened our days and they are replaced with the dull, messy purple of our aching heart. Every day is October when you have faced the loss of your baby.
As this month closes, there is deep gratitude to all who have taken the time to light their candles, listen to our stories, and find the courage to share their own. I am so grateful to everyone who has seen our light and helped us to shine. We shine especially bright in October because we have an audience to share our light with. My hope is that our light has been bright enough to extend into the dreary days ahead.