Where do babies come from?
It’s a question that we have all wondered and one that many of us will be pressured to answer. No one would argue that it’s a complicated question. So why do we work so hard to find an easy answer? I have my ideas on why this is, but I will save my attempts at conjecture. What I will say is that I think it’s time we flip the script. This complicated question deserves a more complicated answer.
It’s easy to say that babies come from the fertilization of an egg which then implants into the wall of the uterus. It’s simple to comprehend that after roughly 40 weeks of growth and development that egg becomes a baby which will then be brought into this world via a vaginal delivery.
Except sometimes there are no eggs to fertilize or sperm to fertilize them with, so you might require the eggs or sperm of a donor.
Sometimes you might have eggs but they are not becoming fertilized naturally, so you might need the assistance of IVF or IUI.
Maybe you have decided to adopt a baby to build your family.
Sometimes you need a surrogate to help you carry your baby.
It’s possible that you have achieved conception, but your pregnancy is ectopic because the egg remained in the fallopian tube instead of moving to the uterus.
Then there are those instances where you are able to conceive but something goes wrong and your baby stops developing so you lose them to miscarriage.
Sometimes this happens over and over again and you may never find a reason why it keeps happening.
Maybe your baby continues to develop but at your 20-week anatomy scan, you are presented with the news that an important part of your baby is not developing properly and they will likely not survive.
Sometimes, out of nowhere, they just stop breathing in utero and they are born still.
It could even be that your baby survives their time in your womb, but meets death once they have been delivered.
Some babies are born vaginally. It may be in a hospital bed or a tub. Their mothers may take medication to help ease the pain or they may not. Some of these mothers go into labor naturally and some of these mothers need assistance inducing labor.
Some babies come into this world by c-section. It may be a precautionary measure or it may be the difference between life and death for mother or baby. Some of these mothers know ahead of time that their baby will enter the world this way, some of these mothers don’t have a choice.
Some babies meet their parents after they are born. They may meet at the hospital shortly after birth or it may take a few years for their families to find them. They may live with one family forever or they may know many families in their lifetime.
And sometimes, someone sets out to write a piece and realizes there are so many things she still doesn’t know about babies and where they come from.
Babies always come from journeys that are beyond our assumptions. Babies do not come from simple answers to complicated questions. Wherever babies come from, they have a story and it’s time for us to talk about it.
Let’s talk about fertility and infertility. Let’s talk about miscarriage and stillbirth and neonatal death. Let’s talk about options for childbirth. Let’s talk about adoption and foster care.
And if you don’t know how to talk about these things, just keep asking. Someone out there will have your answer.
