To those friends I know who have no living children,
I want to tell you that I love you. I want to tell you that I think you are courageous and gracious and strong. There are so many words that spill from my heart when I witness your pain and hear your story. But, there is one thing that you will never hear from me.
I will never tell you that a living child is in your future.
Because I do not know what the future holds for you. I do not know where your motherhood journey has yet to take you. To tell you to just wait, that one day you will hold a baby in your arms instead of your heart, I will not do that. It is a promise that I cannot keep. So, I will never promise you that.
What can I promise you?
I can promise to be there when the days feel long and the nights even longer. I promise to honor the children in your heart as much as any living baby I know. When you need someone to acknowledge the longing ache of your empty arms, I can be that person. My words will always be full of support and void of platitudes.
I can promise to remain hopeful when you are feeling incredibly hopeless.
I will do all of these things for you, but I will never lie to you. I will never try to promise that you will one day have a living child.
Because I love YOU.
I love you and I will continue to love you no matter how many children are in your arms. I admire you for the mother you are and not the mother you had dreamed you would be. Yes, I believe that you deserve the motherhood you once imagined but I also believe you are deserving of love and hope if it never happens that way.
So again, I want to tell you that I love you. I think you are courageous and gracious and strong. I am here for you no matter what.
And that is all that you need to hear from me.