A year ago, as the calendar flipped to 2018, I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would do everything I could to rise and meet my dreams. One of those dreams was to further establish myself as a writer and this year was proof that dreams come true.
My words have been shared far and wide. I have been published in places I once only dreamed of. But my favorite words are always the ones I write here. This is where my writing journey started and this is where I will always return to.
Thank you. I am so grateful to those who have read my work and those who feel my work is worthy enough to share with others.
To show my gratitude, I wanted to share with you the most popular pieces I wrote in 2018. These are the words that resonated with many and I am proud to share this list with you.
“I’m the lady with the dead baby. It’s okay, I’m allowed to be so blunt because it’s my truth. I am the lady whose baby died. One day my baby was living and the next day she died. That is what happened. It doesn’t offend me if you acknowledge this. It offends me when you don’t.”
“Not all of us believe in those pearly gates you drew, but we all have an image of where our child now lives. We worry that where our babies are, that they are alone. That they may not know we are here on Earth missing them so much. Your drawing reminded us that when we get there, our babies will not only be there but they will be running towards us, arms outstretched and calling out for us. Thank you for that reminder.”
“Believe me, I know that there is nothing you can do to stop this from happening. But, maybe, you could find a way to show a little more compassion. You will only have to deal with me for a few more minutes. When you hang up, I will still be here and I will still be miscarrying.”
“I say this on behalf of all mothers whose child was stillborn. Our babies did not silently appear in our arms. They were delivered there by us. Just like any other woman, we gave birth to our babies and we have a birth story. The only difference is that for the mother of a stillborn baby, the ending comes first.”
“It was a different kind of moving than I had once imagined. Before losing Dorothy, I believed in the misconception that moving on meant forgetting. Now I know that it doesn’t have to be that way. After a death, you are allowed to move forward in life and you can bring the person you miss with you.”
“No matter how you’ve lost them, losing a baby sucks. It really does. Here’s what else has the potential to suck after losing a baby.”
“Yes, months like this are important but the truth is we need the support of our loved ones every day. So let this month be one of many where you reach out to the grieving parents in your life.”
“I remember you are gone when I’m in a room full of people and I notice you are missing when I’m all alone. I feel your absence in joyful melodies and I hear your memory when the music is imbued with melancholy. You are everywhere and nowhere all at once.”
“What is it like to experience pregnancy and infant loss?
It’s having a baby without a baby to hold.
It’s holding your breath when you’re asked: “How many children do you have?”
It’s when even the busiest room is always missing one person.”
“Even when you’ve figured out how to survive, you then have to figure out how to live. You slowly remember that life isn’t simply about waking up and showers and eating. It’s waking up to go to work. It’s showering so you can brave the grocery story. It’s going out to lunch with a friend and trying to remember what you talked about before your baby died.”