10 Instagram Accounts To Follow During Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

10 Instagram accounts to follow during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

When your baby dies all you want is someone who gets it. Someone who says what you’ve been thinking, feeling, struggling to find the words for. If you’ve experienced pregnancy and infant loss, you know finding that person can feel impossible.

In the real world you can’t exactly walk up to someone at the grocery store and say “Hi, did your baby die too?” (Let’s take a moment to imagine a world so comfortable with grief that we could do such a thing.) But on Instagram, you can almost do that by following these accounts dedicated to pregnancy and infant loss.

@hannahpontillo

Hannah and her husband Phil are the parents to two beautiful boys, Dexy and River. On her account she details life after the stillbirth of their firstborn son, Dexy. There’s something so refreshing about the candid and honest way that Hannah approaches the topics of stillbirth and parenting after loss. Her willingness to share draws her followers in and her fierce advocacy is why they stay.

@onemissingmum

Laura is the very proud mother to three beautiful children: Findlay, Leo, and Elin. Along with sharing her poignant observations on grief, Laura uses her account to highlight various pregnancy and infant loss campaigns across the United Kingdom. If a parent was ever struggling to make sense of the parenting after loss experience, following Laura would be worth their time. Her wonderful sense of humor and ability to be vulnerable make her a relatable advocate for loss families everywhere.

@ihadamiscarriage

Jessica Zucker is a psychologist specializing in women’s mental health issues. She is devoted to erasing the shame and stigma related to miscarriage and stillbirth and her platform is doing just that. Through a carefully curated collection of words and art, Jessica inspires others to share their truth and raise their voices in awareness. In addition, she shares her own profound experience of motherhood and miscarriage so that others may know they are never alone in the all too common experience of loss.

@laurenandloss

Lauren is a mental health specialist based in the Pacific Northwest who uses her platform to share content that challenges the status quo when it comes to grief and loss. Although her bio insists she does not have a brand, her avid followers would disagree. Lauren’s brand is honesty and community. She is lifting up others while shattering society’s outdated expectations of grief and parenthood.

View this post on Instagram

We know how much pressure there is on women in our society (ahem, diet culture and the $445 billion dollar beauty industry, for starters), but especially around having children. . I went to a perinatal training recently where at least two women expressed frustration that their adult children had not “given” them grandchildren. The idea that someone should do something as big and life changing as having a baby (and as difficult for so many) because someone else in their lives wants them to… is just… not okay. . Add that pressure onto those that might want children but have loss, infertility, don’t have access to enough care, financial reasons, aren’t emotionally ready, etc (also, why aren't we talking about emotional health before having children?! It's always talked about having partner, a career, finances… but not one of the biggest predictors of a child's well being and success: the parent's emotional skills). . And what about those who might not want kids but this makes them feel they “should” or it’s “what you do” or they aren't as valued not doing so. . Comments like, “We want you to have a baby!!” Or “When are you going to make me a (insert relational title here)?!” often seem innocent, but are so loaded. . You don’t owe anyone a baby. Having a baby doesn’t make you more worthy as a human. It doesn’t make you more of a woman. It doesn’t make you a better daughter, sister, friend or whatever to others by having one. If people are disappointed by you not having a baby, they have some serious personal work to do. And not having a baby doesn’t mean you don’t know love. . You know love by living a life of love.

A post shared by Lauren (@laurenandloss) on

@woodnailsandcotton

You know that feeling when you read something that relates so closely to your own experience that you find yourself vigorously nodding your head and saying “Yes!” again and again? This is an everyday occurrence for the followers of @woodnailsandcotton. Among the commemorative artwork being created for families of loss are the simple cartoons that say exactly what every grieving parent is thinking.

@griefunfolding

If you’re looking for a raw, unfiltered perspective on grief–Becky’s got you covered. Mother to three beautiful sons, Becky speaks her truth about grief and makes room for others to speak theirs. Her account is both thoughtful and thought-provoking. It is the perfect place for people who aren’t afraid to get real about grief.

@missconceptioncoach

So many families who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss also know the heartbreak of infertility. Chiemi is a support counselor specializing in infertility trauma and her account speaks to the very real and very heartbreaking truth about infertility. However, amidst the stories of loss and disappointment lays an overwhelming feeling of hope. If there is power in sharing our stories, @missconceptioncoach is fierce.

View this post on Instagram

The truth is, we don't have a phrase that truly pays homage to the loss and grief that is felt from infertility. Using medical terms like failed cycle, weak embryos, fail to develop, hostile uterus, missed period, chemical pregnancy, blighted ovum, only disconnects us all from the emotions truly felt and adds a level of self doubt and shame about our own bodies. We have words for the loss of a baby, such as miscarriage and still-born. 1st, 2nd, 3rd trimester technicalities, all feel clinical and cold. Loss is loss. Pain is pain. Grieving the death of a life that was growing inside of you, a life that could have been, at any stage is…well there are simply no words. None. We don’t have a word for when someone goes through fertility treatment like IVF or IUI and it ‘fails’. The loss of that Emby Baby is just as real and painful and devastating. The added stress of these treatment plans, injections, procedures and on top of that, the monetary pressure, is unfathomable. Yet it’s done unselfishly out of love. The love you have is instant, from the moment your baby is even dreamt about. What do you do with the pain of your hopes and dreams slipping away? The pain of allowing yourself to be vulnerable again. The pain of promising yourself you wouldn’t get invested so early, but did because how could you not? You sit in shock and defeat, ready to give up, not because you want to, but because you can’t fathom loss on this level – again. One day mamma today and everyday I want you to know we see your loss. We validate your feelings. ♥️

A post shared by 𝑀𝒾𝓈𝓈.𝒞𝑜𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒞𝑜𝒶𝒸𝒽 (@missconceptioncoach) on

@orangeafmama

Amanda, mama to Juniper and Coral, is the best friend in grief that you’ve been searching for. She is funny, she is colorful (literally, the woman loves the color orange!), and she is real. Her commitment to supporting other loss families is beyond compare. There is no greater friend in the loss community.

@afterchloe

In addition to being the mother of the beautiful Chole, Melo Garcia is a grief specialist who doesn’t just want you to survive grief–she wants you to LIVE while you grieve. There has been no shortage of loss in Melo’s life, but there is also no shortage of love in the way she lives it. Through her direct and poetic posts she urges those who are grieving to own their grief and live their life.

View this post on Instagram

What the F*** do I do with all this pain, grief and loss? _____ I get that question ( I am para phrasing) asked on a daily basis. And here is my answer, Lovely one. ____ I've been on my grief journey for many years and I don't count while I don’t keep time. I do understand that no one, no where, no season, no object, no word, nothing could have ever prepared me for the journey of grief and loss. It's ever evolving and each day I have experienced a different emotion. What resonated with me a year ago doesn't always resonate with me today. ____ Fickle is the word that comes to my mind. Clarity also comes to my mind. Realization that while I am forever grieving, I am clear that – You should only seek what, who, where, how, – soothes, comforts, doesn't increase your grief – pursue this! How will you know what helps, lessens or gives you clarity for your grief- you must pursue your own journey of speaking grief. That can be a full time or part time or you may stuff it away. It's up to you. The grief and loss, it's yours. And only yours. Hold it. Keep it. And understand it is yours to manage. Go with that! Move along as you can. Slowly. Or not so slowly. Or swiftly, or you be still. The point is – it's up to you lovely one. The point is that you are soothed and comforted. The point is that you understand you may or may not feel comfort at all! You will have to find your way! Keep going one step at a time! 💛🙏🏻💯

A post shared by Melo Garcia AfterChloe.com (@afterchloe) on

@thelegacyofleo

Where do the advocates turn when they need their own advocate? In the baby loss community, they turn to Jess. Her account is dedicated to the memory of her son, Leo and within her squares you will find countless examples of how to raise awareness and rally for the cause. Working closely with advocacy groups throughout the UK, Jess is tireless in her efforts. She is also the creator of #babylosshour on Twitter and she is helping to showcase the diversity in the loss experience.

To see more of my own story on Instagram, follow @ladywhalen.

What Instagram accounts have you found supportive to your experience? Please share in the comments below.

Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

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