Navigating the Landscapes of Grief

It is a common misconception that grief is linear.  That if you follow a straight and narrow path and make all the necessary stops you will find an end to the road.  For those of us trekking through grief, we know that this is a falsehood. Grief is a journey that twists and turns and…

During The Holiday Season, Grief And Gratitude Can Sit At The Same Table

I get it.  Thanksgiving and the holidays bring in the time of year when I'm supposed to focus on what I have and not on what I want.  Instead, of hoping for more I am encouraged to be grateful with what is already present. No, thank you. Everyday I encounter people who believe that I…

What's it like to become a grieving parent

Now I’m Them–When You Realize What It’s Like To Be The Grieving Parent

Years ago, I received a phone call from a former co-worker, telling me that a student I knew had been hit by a car and died.  She was just about to turn 6 years old.  I was devastated by this news.  She was such a spunky and sweet girl who I had nicknamed Ramona, because…

What I Would Do If I Had One More Minute With My Baby Who Died

Minutes.  Everything I remember about the day that Dorothy died can be measured in minutes.  There were the minutes spent searching for a heartbeat that wasn't there.  The minutes spent delivering a baby that came so silently.  The minutes we were together as a family of three.   And when it was all over, there was…

When It Comes To Grieving–Go Ahead And Do It Your Own Way

If you are grieving, I want you to go ahead. Go ahead and ignore those who want to dictate how you grieve. Disregard any timelines imposed upon you. Tune out the noise of others and tune in to those whispers that come from within. Go ahead and do whatever brings you peace in this moment.…

10 Reasons I Love My Loss Family

This is my declaration of love for those parents who know the pain of losing a child.  I want them to know why I love them. I love my loss family because... 1. They call me Mama.  After you lose your child, you ache for the chance to be the mother or the father that…

The Choices We Must Make When Our Baby Dies

There is a popular philosophy that our happiness in life comes down to the choices we make.  According to this philosophy, your mood and your circumstances are a reflection of the choices you have made.  It suggests that if you are unhappy with your life, all you need to do is make a different choice.…

The Power of ‘And’: How One Word Changed The Way I Grieve

Five weeks after Dorothy died, my nephew was born.  I remember going to to our weekly therapy session and sharing this news with our therapist.  Of course she wanted to know how I was feeling about his arrival.  I replied that I was so happy that he was safely here but I was also happy…