A Vacation From Grief

I love this picture of us. It was taken on a trip to Washington D.C. two years ago. While on our tour of the White House, my husband, Mike, and I paused to take a silly selfie in one of the mirrors in the East Room. We look so happy. . Looking at this picture,…

40 Things That Can Really Suck After Your Baby Dies

No matter how they died, losing a baby sucks.  It really does. Here's what else has the potential to suck after your baby dies. 1. Baby shower invites. 2. Social media. 3. Playgrounds. 4. Small talk. 5. Commercials for pregnancy tests. 6. Crying in the grocery store. 7. Crying at work. 8. Crying in your…

No one wins at the grief Olympics.

No One Wins At The Grief Olympics

There is no winning with grief.  Yes, there are gains and there are definitely losses, but there is no way to determine who has reached the highest level of grief.  Unlike the Olympic athletes who showcase their strength and prowess, there are no set criteria to determine whose grief has earned them a medal. There are…

Happy Birthday Dorothy: Year 2

Dear Dorothy, Happy Birthday my beautiful girl.  I hope that wherever you spent your day, you felt all the love that was being sent to you.  If you were here right now, I would wrap my arms around you so that you could feel every bit of it. I spent some time today imagining what…

When You Say “I Forgive,” But Your Heart Won’t Forget

Losing a child has made me good at many things.  I'm good at crying in the grocery store and also at hiding my tears.  I'm good at saying what's on my heart and I've become good at helping others find their voice.  I've even become good at forgiving others when their words and actions leave…

5 Truths About My Marriage After The Stillbirth Of Our Child

Staying married after your baby dies is a challenge. It can be a struggle to just keep yourself together--keeping a relationship intact can feel impossible. Some people say it's luck. Some people say it's hard work. In the case of my own marriage, I'm not sure if it was luck or work. I don't think…

What It’s Like To Be Facing Another Month After The Loss Of Your Baby

Rabbit, rabbit. Another month begins.  While everyone around you breathes a sigh of relief, you draw in a deep breath.  Others relish in the idea of a blank slate while you dread the uncertainty of what this month may hold.  Everyone else sees the 1st as the start of just another month, but for you--it's…

Netflix and Grieve

When we came home without Dorothy, our first place of retreat was the couch.  We sat down on and immediately turned on the tv.   Neither of us said a word as we fixed our eyes forward and waited for that familiar red screen with the white lettering.  Mike then turned to me and said the…