7 Ways To Include the Grieving Mother On Mother’s Day

My first Mother's Day was a lonely one. It had been only 2 months since my daughter was stillborn and while I wasn't exactly expecting an endless stream of cards and well-wishers, I was expecting something. After all, I was a mother. The day came and went with very little reach-out from friends and family.…

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Why I’m Leaving The Cards On The Shelf This Mother’s Day

Last year on Mother's Day, I was walking through the grocery store when I ended up in the greeting card aisle. I was there for an anniversary card for my parents, but I glanced over at the Mother's Day cards and saw that the selection was completely picked over. A few random cards remained and…

The New Year May Not Be A Fresh Start–But It’s Also Not An Ending

I think we put a lot of pressure on New Year's Day. We are eager for a fresh start and we place our hopes inside that first little box of the month. We promise ourselves that this will be our year--our new beginning. But, that's not what happens on New Year's Day. Do you know…

The Holidays Hurt Because This Is Not The Last Holiday Without Them

This will be my third Christmas since my daughter was stillborn and it hurts that she's not here. For three years I have known the heartache of balancing grief and joy during the holiday season. I have learned a lot about how to cope during the holidays, so it seems like it shouldn't hurt so…

We Hang Four Stockings In A House Where Three People Live

Someday, during a future Christmastime, I imagine that my daughter will ask me a question. Her tone will be inquisitive and her eyes curious, but it will not be a question deep with meaning. Instead, her question will be imbued with the simple curiosity of a child who notices when the number of stockings doesn't…

Unwrapping Joy and Heartache

It is our second Christmas without Dorothy.  The second year in a row where I find myself alternating between belting out Christmas songs with an almost-convincing bravado and staring at the twinkle lights as they blur through my tear-filled eyes.  A subsequent year of loneliness and "what-ifs" and pretending to the be the last 5…

How to survive the holidays when you are grieving.

How to Survive the Holidays–An Alternative Guide For Grievers

The holidays are here and you are feeling less than jolly.  I get it. You are exhausted from participating in the pageantry of the season while trying to carry your heart that is heavy with grief.  It feels unfair that you have to work so hard at self-care and demonstrating kindness just to keep yourself…