Even Though The World Is In Crisis, I’m Still Allowed To Grieve My Baby Who Died

Lately, it's been a struggle for me to write. There's so much grief inside of me and usually I cope by sharing with others. But, I sit down to write and the words won't come. Even though there's so much that I want to share, right now doesn't feel like the right time. Because right…

Babies Don’t Die So That People Can Learn Life Lessons–They Just Die And It’s Tragic

So many people are comforted by the idea that everything happens for a reason. For every bad moment that life delivers, there's a lesson to be learned. I get why people think this way. It's a lot easier to accept life's hardships if we know something good will come from it. It's a nice theory…

Finding The Words–5 Things To Say To The Person Whose Baby Has Died

When a baby dies it is devastating. It is an unexpected and heartbreaking tragedy. It is very possible that people might not know what to say and that makes sense. They may wonder how could words ever be enough to take away the pain? What could one possibly say to remove the burden of losing…

Knowing What It’s Like To Lose A Baby Again And Again…And Again

After my first miscarriage, I actually experienced a moment of relief. Losing my first baby had been a devastating experience, but it was over. Naively, I felt like the worst was behind me. Because I knew so little about pregnancy loss, I assumed that this was a one time thing. Surely, this wouldn't happen again.…

I Saw The Photo Of The 8 Pregnant Nurses And It Made Me Wonder–Who Is Missing From The Picture?

By now you've probably seen this picture. You've probably heard of the 9 labor and delivery nurses who are all pregnant at the same time.  When I look at this picture, I feel happy for these women and their shared experience. I wish them all the very best in their pregnancy. But, my heart truly…

“You Don’t Even Look Like You Had A Baby!” And Other Things You Shouldn’t Say After Miscarriage And Stillbirth

Death is an uncomfortable subject. When people are in a situation where they have to say words out loud about death, it leads to some very awkward encounters. For reasons we can all imagine, this awkwardness increases when discussing the death of a baby. Before having two miscarriages and my daughter being stillborn, I figured…

9 Things Healthcare Providers Can Do To Support Families Through Pregnancy and Infant Loss

By now it is commonly known that one in four pregnancies will end in a loss. No one should be more aware of this statistic than the countless healthcare providers who will care for these women and their families during their loss. One would assume, given the common nature of pregnancy and infant loss, that…

To Those Who Don’t Know What It’s Like To Have Your Baby Die, Consider It Your Privilege

When I say that my daughter died, people will often respond: "I'm sorry I didn't know." Their response makes me smile in that sad sort of way because it reminds me that when my baby died, there was so much I didn't know. I didn't know it was possible to keep breathing when your baby's…