The Fear (And Joy) Of Seeing A Positive Pregnancy Test After Losing A Baby

My struggle has never lied in getting pregnant. My struggle is keeping babies. I've been pregnant 4 times and I've only brought one baby home. I know that there are women who have never seen a positive test, or women who have yet to bring home a live baby. There are women who will never…

To My Fellow Loss Mamas–I Love You No Matter What

Dear Courageous Mama, I want you to know that I love you. No matter when or how your baby died, you deserve nothing but love and support. And that, beautiful mama, is what I have for you. I love you in your moments of celebration.  I love you in your moments of grief. I love…

The Should-Be, Could-Be, Would-Bes Of Baby Loss

There's a sense of uncertainty when your baby dies. Whether you've lost them at 5 weeks gestation or 10 months after birth, it can be difficult to figure out how to grieve a life so brief. Grief is so often tied to the memories we have of the deceased. We find comfort in thinking about…

Yes, I Had A Miscarriage And Yes, I Flushed

I was not well prepared for what it would be like to have a miscarriage. I figured there would be blood, but I didn't realize how much. I assumed there would be cramping, but I didn't know it would be so intense. I had vague ideas of what it would be to have a miscarriage,…

Even Though My Baby Died, You Can Still Call Me ‘Mama’

I remember when I announced my pregnancy and you said, "Congratulations Mama." I remember when my bump started showing and you squealed, "You look so good, Mama!" I remember at my baby shower when you asked, "Are you ready for this Mama?" And then, I had to tell you that my baby died. You told…

How Do You Love Your Post-Baby Body When There Is No Baby?

When your baby dies, you seek validation of their existence. Your heart scrambles for someone else to acknowledge their realness. A panicky feeling thuds within as you are left wondering if something can be real when you are the only one who knows it existed. The validation you are looking for will come and it…

This is what it's like to lose a baby.

What Is It Like When A Baby Dies?

When a baby dies, there are questions.   There are questions that have concrete answers.  When did your baby die?  How old were they?  Why did they die? And then there are the questions that no one really asks, but everybody wonders.  These are the questions that ask--what is it like when your baby dies?  How…