To The Mother Wishing For A Living Baby–You Don’t Need My Empty Promises

To the mother waiting for her living baby, I want to tell you that I love you.  I want to tell you that I think you are courageous and gracious and strong.  There are so many words that spill from my heart when I witness your pain and hear your story.  But, there is one…

Can you see the grief?

Can You See The Grief?

I’ve just revealed my story.  I’m a bereaved parent.  I’ve lost my baby.  She died. After the awkward silence settles in and divides us, you mumble something about how you didn’t know. My heart goes out to you. How could you know? There is no mark to distinguish me as a bereaved parent; I look…

40 Things That Can Really Suck After Losing A Baby

No matter how you've lost them, losing a baby sucks.  It really does. Here's what else has the potential to suck after losing a baby. 1. Baby shower invites. 2. Social media. 3. Playgrounds. 4. Small talk. 5. Commercials for pregnancy tests. 6. Crying in the grocery store. 7. Crying at work. 8. Crying in…

What Every Woman Having A Miscarriage Wants To Say And What Every Doctor Needs To Understand

Hello?  Is this the doctor?  Yes, I'm calling to let you know that I'm spotting. I know there's nothing you can do. I understand that medically speaking, it's still very early in my pregnancy.  Yes, I know that you want me to drink some water and rest. I'm listening to what you're saying, but now I need you…

The Language of PAIL (Pregnancy And Infant Loss)

I have always wanted to be bilingual.  In high school, I studied French and while my grades were excellent, my teenage ambition did not extend beyond my workbook pages.  C'est la vie. Now, almost three years after my first miscarriage, I find myself fluent in a language that does not easily translate.  It is not…

What I wish I had known about my miscarriage

10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About Miscarriage

Before my first miscarriage I thought I understood what miscarriage was--your pregnancy would come to an end, you would probably be sad, and then you would move on.  I thought I knew it all and in reality, I knew so very little.  Before I began sharing my own experience, I had never really heard anyone…