Losing A Baby In A Pregnancy-Obsessed Society

Pregnancy announcements. Baby showers. Gender reveals. Maternity photoshoots. Creating registries. As soon as you see two lines, there are countless ways you are encouraged to prepare and celebrate your pregnancy and baby on the way. It seems like we can't get enough of women when they are expecting their little bundle (or bundles) of joy.…

Even Though My Baby Died, You Can Still Call Me ‘Mama’

I remember when I announced my pregnancy and you said, "Congratulations Mama." I remember when my bump started showing and you squealed, "You look so good, Mama!" I remember at my baby shower when you asked, "Are you ready for this Mama?" And then, I had to tell you that my baby died. You told…

You Can Be Grateful And Still Complain When Parenting After Loss

I distinctly remember those sleepless nights. I’m referring to the ones that came after my daughter, Dorothy, was stillborn. I would toss and turn for hours, my eyes burning from the steady stream of tears that fell. The sleepless nights after losing a baby are brutal. As I lay there I would torment myself by…

When your baby dies and you are left watching the life of a baby who lived.

When Your Baby Dies And You Are Left Watching Another Live The Life You Lost

My daughter, Frances, has a favorite game that we play.  It’s called ‘baby in the mirror’ and it consists of her father or I holding her up so she can watch ‘the baby in the mirror.’ She is fascinated by her reflection and she seems both elated and unsure of what her mirror baby might…

To The Mother Wishing For A Living Baby–You Don’t Need My Empty Promises

To the mother waiting for her living baby, I want to tell you that I love you.  I want to tell you that I think you are courageous and gracious and strong.  There are so many words that spill from my heart when I witness your pain and hear your story.  But, there is one…

A stillbirth is still a birth.

I Need You To Know That My Stillbirth Was Still A Birth

Chances are, even if you don't know who, you know someone whose life has been impacted a stillbirth.  If you are aware of this, then you probably know how important it is to acknowledge and honor the baby who was lost.  You may have heard the parents ask for you to say their baby's name…

All Moms Need Support — Grieving Moms, Too

To All The Mamas Who Have Nothing But Love For Other Mamas, You know who you are. You're the moms who are constantly reaching out and waving your flags of solidarity for the new moms on the block. You are the moms who are there for the breastfeeding moms and the formula moms. You high-five…