Inside The Mind Of A Woman Pregnant After Loss–What We Want To Say

Congratulations. Your co-worker, friend, or loved one are pregnant after their loss. You were (hopefully) there to support them when they experienced the heartbreak of their loss and now you’re thrilled to be there for them in this subsequent pregnancy. There are a million questions that you want to ask them. You want to talk…

After pregnancy loss you watch as your whens become ifs.

After Miscarriage and Stillbirth The Whens Became Ifs

Losing three babies in two years changed me.  Gone was the woman who spoke in absolutes.  No longer was I the person who punctuated her statements with certainty.  Two miscarriages and a stillbirth changed literally changed the way I spoke. After losing three babies--my whens became ifs. With each loss, I felt less and less…

Five things to remember when you are pregnant after a loss.

The 5 Things I Hope You Remember During Your Pregnancy after Loss Journey

The pregnancy after loss journey is…complicated. It is every emotion that you have ever felt and they are all struggling to exist together.  You may feel like you are faced with an ever-growing list of things to do and remember. I know how that feels.  So, when it all feels too daunting and you doubt…

Having a baby after a loss will not fix the pain, but it can still bring you hope.

Why “Rainbow Babies” Are Not A Cure For Grief

When Dorothy died, I plummeted.  I found myself in the lowest place I had ever been to.  It was far below any place I had visited before.  You might know the level I speak of; a low so far down that when you look up, you see black. There is nothing there for you.  And…

In pregnancy after loss, everything's okay until it isn't.

Being Pregnant After Losing A Baby Means Knowing Everything’s Okay Until It Isn’t

The appointment is over and your doctor or midwife has just told you that everything looks great.  Your baby is doing well and everything is okay.  One hand on your bump, you schedule your next appointment with a sense of relief that feels dangerously close to bliss.  You turn to leave and you are barely…

The Language of PAIL (Pregnancy And Infant Loss)

I have always wanted to be bilingual.  In high school, I studied French and while my grades were excellent, my teenage ambition did not extend beyond my workbook pages.  C'est la vie. Now, almost three years after my first miscarriage, I find myself fluent in a language that does not easily translate.  It is not…

Coming Home After My Baby Died

I spent a week in the hospital after Dorothy died so that my body could begin to recover from all that it had endured.  I know my doctors wanted me to stay longer, but after a week I broke down and begged to be discharged.  As long as I was in that hospital, my husband…