I Waited Your Whole Life To Meet You And I Had To Say Goodbye

I used to rub my stomach and whisper to you. "Hey there baby girl. What are you doing in there?" "Hi sweetheart, I can't wait to meet you." So many moments imagining what it would be like to say hello. To see your face. To welcome you into the world. Days spent curled up in…

Read An Unexpected Family Outing’s 10 Most-Read Pieces of 2019

Here I sit at the end of another year. Another year of putting myself out there and sharing pieces of my story in the hopes of helping someone else cope with the pieces of their own. Another year of sitting in front of a keyboard trying to find words to capture the thoughts and feelings…

I Don’t Want To Remember What It Was Like When My Baby Died, But I Will Never Forget It

It's been almost four years since my daughter was stillborn. It's been almost four years since I went home without my baby. A day I wish I could forget. And somehow, I remember that day like it was yesterday. On that day, I changed out of my hospital gown and packed up my belongings. I…

Babies Don’t Die So That People Can Learn Life Lessons–They Just Die And It’s Tragic

So many people are comforted by the idea that everything happens for a reason. For every bad moment that life delivers, there's a lesson to be learned. I get why people think this way. It's a lot easier to accept life's hardships if we know something good will come from it. It's a nice theory…

I Know It Was Hard For Everyone When My Baby Died–It Was Hard For Me Too

I was once brave enough to ask a friend why she stopped talking to me when my daughter died. She responded that she couldn't reach out to me because my daughter's death was so hard on her. It was too much for her to deal with. To that "friend" and every other person who turned…

This Halloween, When The Doorbells Are Silent–Please Think Of The Children Not Here To Ring Them

It's Halloween night and the doorbell rings. You grab the bowl of candy and head to greet your trick-or-treaters. As the door swings open, you hear the rustle of plastic bags and the thudding of plastic pails awaiting their prize. "Trick or treat!" their voices chime and you smile as you pass out candy to…

We Need Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month But Not For The Reasons You Think

I'm a grieving mother. I've experienced two miscarriages and a stillbirth. Most of my babies have died. You would think that Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month would be just the month for me. Yes and no. You see, I don't really need a month to be aware that my babies died. I don't…