Mothers Are Not Made By The Babies They Hold–Mothers Are Made By The Babies They Love

Why do we wait to hand out the title of mother? Why is a woman carrying a child only thought of as a mom-to-be. It's as if she won't be a mother until she's up all night with a crying baby or her house is strewn with toys and dirty laundry. Like she must earn…

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I Have A Living Baby–Why Am I Still Jealous Of Pregnancy Announcements?

Does everyone get pregnant at the same time? That's the way it seems. It's like the saying "Good things come in threes." Well, pregnancy announcements seem to come in nines and tens. It feels like they're everywhere and to be honest, I don't cope with that very well. Why, you ask, is it so difficult…

Knowing What It’s Like To Lose A Baby Again And Again…And Again

After my first miscarriage, I actually experienced a moment of relief. Losing my first baby had been a devastating experience, but it was over. Naively, I felt like the worst was behind me. Because I knew so little about pregnancy loss, I assumed that this was a one time thing. Surely, this wouldn't happen again.…

I Saw The Photo Of The 8 Pregnant Nurses And It Made Me Wonder–Who Is Missing From The Picture?

By now you've probably seen this picture. You've probably heard of the 9 labor and delivery nurses who are all pregnant at the same time.  When I look at this picture, I feel happy for these women and their shared experience. I wish them all the very best in their pregnancy. But, my heart truly…

“You Don’t Even Look Like You Had A Baby!” And Other Awkward Things I Heard After My Baby Died

Death is an uncomfortable subject. When people are in a situation where they have to say words out loud about death, it leads to some very awkward encounters. For reasons we can all imagine, this awkwardness increases when discussing the death of a baby. Before having two miscarriages and my daughter being stillborn, I figured…

We’re Not Laughing–Why It’s Time To Stop Posting Fake Pregnancy Announcements On Facebook

If you have a Facebook account, then you've probably seen your fair share of fake pregnancy announcements. Maybe it's because they're often copied and pasted from somewhere else, but they're always the same. A blurry ultrasound photo accompanied by a lengthy caption containing far too many exclamation points and feigned surprise at the new arrival…

The Mental Load Of The Grieving Mother

I do not consider myself to be busier than any other mother I know. I'm sure we all have the same sinks piled high with dishes, the same stack of bills, and the same pick-up/drop-off schedules to coordinate. There are the same doctor's appointments to schedule, the same load of laundry that's been washed three…