October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, but we would rather have a lifetime with our babies.

I Would Rather Have A Lifetime: Why Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Month Will Never Be Enough

October is here. In my world, this means crisp leaves and chunky sweaters and it also means participating in Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  The month of October is widely recognized as a time to honor those families who know the experience of losing a baby. It might sound depressing to participate in a…

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In pregnancy after loss, everything's okay until it isn't.

Being Pregnant After Losing A Baby Means Knowing Everything’s Okay Until It Isn’t

The appointment is over and your doctor or midwife has just told you that everything looks great.  Your baby is doing well and everything is okay.  One hand on your bump, you schedule your next appointment with a sense of relief that feels dangerously close to bliss.  You turn to leave and you are barely…

To The Parents Of The Child Who Should Be Starting Kindergarten — They Can Join My Classroom

Summer is winding down and I'm gearing up for a new school year. Yesterday, I sat down to finish my mailing for my new Kindergarten students. I worked my way through the list, personalizing each letter with my student's name (I feel like it adds a little extra love when you put pen to paper…

40 Things That Can Really Suck After Losing A Baby

No matter how you've lost them, losing a baby sucks.  It really does. Here's what else has the potential to suck after losing a baby. 1. Baby shower invites. 2. Social media. 3. Playgrounds. 4. Small talk. 5. Commercials for pregnancy tests. 6. Crying in the grocery store. 7. Crying at work. 8. Crying in…

Enough with the silence--let's talk about stillbirth.

Enough With The Silence–We Need To Talk About Stillbirth

It was almost 9:00 at night when I was admitted to the hospital.  An hour later and I had been visited by doctors from at least four different departments.  There was the doctor from Maternal-Fetal Medicine who was there to give me the Cliff-Notes on preeclampsia and explain how shitty I was going to feel on…

My Stillborn Baby Still Has A Birth Story

On February 22, 2016 our daughter, Dorothy Grace Helena Whalen was stillborn.  This is a continuation of her story. When I transferred to the Intensive Care Unit, everything came with me--large plastic bags stuffed with clothing, haphazardly stacked books and magazines, a jumble of flower arrangements.  All of this traveled on a large, noisy cart as I was rushed from labor…

My Baby Died, Please Don’t Let Me Die Too

On February 22, 2016 our daughter, Dorothy Grace Helena Whalen was stillborn.  This is the continuation of her story. The shock and devastation of losing Dorothy had numbed me.  No longer was I aware of the experience of my own body.  I knew Dorothy was gone, that she had died, but I was not yet aware of how sick…