I Don’t Want To Remember What It Was Like When My Baby Died, But I Will Never Forget It

It's been almost four years since my daughter was stillborn. It's been almost four years since I went home without my baby. A day I wish I could forget. And somehow, I remember that day like it was yesterday. On that day, I changed out of my hospital gown and packed up my belongings. I…

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Babies Don’t Die So That People Can Learn Life Lessons–They Just Die And It’s Tragic

So many people are comforted by the idea that everything happens for a reason. For every bad moment that life delivers, there's a lesson to be learned. I get why people think this way. It's a lot easier to accept life's hardships if we know something good will come from it. It's a nice theory…

I Know It Was Hard For Everyone When My Baby Died–It Was Hard For Me Too

I was once brave enough to ask a friend why she stopped talking to me when my daughter died. She responded that she couldn't reach out to me because my daughter's death was so hard on her. It was too much for her to deal with. To that "friend" and every other person who turned…

Living A Life That’s Incomplete–Why It’s So Hard When Your Child Dies And Why Life Is Still Worth Living

Child loss is hard. We know this. It’s a universal understanding that losing a child is one of the most difficult experiences a person will endure, but still, a question arises. Why is this so hard? I’ve heard this question about grief and child loss asked again and again. I’ve been asked by those who have lost…

We Left The Hospital With A Box Instead Of Our Baby

We left the hospital with a box. It wasn't supposed to be that way. We were supposed to leave with a baby--a living, breathing, adorable baby. A baby to take home and love and raise. One that we would watch grow up into a toddler and a child and a teenager. But we left with…

Finding The Words–5 Things To Say After A Baby Dies

When a baby dies it is devastating. It is an unexpected and heartbreaking tragedy. It is very possible that people might not know what to say and that makes sense. They may wonder how could words ever be enough to take away the pain? What could one possibly say to remove the burden of losing…

Dear Abby: Your Advice About Grief Is Not Helpful And It Hurts

Oh, Abby. I saw your column today--the one where you gave advice to Crystal in Nevada. She wrote to you asking how to cope with her aunt who had a stillbirth 20 years ago. Crystal wanted to know how to talk to this aunt who lives such a “morbid lifestyle.” To encourage her to move…