Dear Abby: Your Advice About Grief Is Not Helpful And It Hurts

Oh, Abby. I saw your column today--the one where you gave advice to Crystal in Nevada. She wrote to you asking how to cope with her aunt who had a stillbirth 20 years ago. Crystal wanted to know how to talk to this aunt who lives such a “morbid lifestyle.” To encourage her to move…

Advertisements

Why I’m Leaving The Cards On The Shelf This Mother’s Day

Last year on Mother's Day, I was walking through the grocery store when I ended up in the greeting card aisle. I was there for an anniversary card for my parents, but I glanced over at the Mother's Day cards and saw that the selection was completely picked over. A few random cards remained and…

When You Have A Miscarriage Or A Stillbirth–People Say Some Really Awkward Things

Death is an uncomfortable subject. When people are in a situation where they have to say words out loud about death, it leads to some very awkward encounters. For reasons we can all imagine, this awkwardness increases when discussing the death of a baby. Before having two miscarriages and my daughter being stillborn, I figured…

We’re Not Laughing–Why It’s Time To Stop Posting Fake Pregnancy Announcements On Facebook

If you have a Facebook account, then you've probably seen your fair share of fake pregnancy announcements. Maybe it's because they're often copied and pasted from somewhere else, but they're always the same. A blurry ultrasound photo accompanied by a lengthy caption containing far too many exclamation points and feigned surprise at the new arrival…

The pregnancy and infant loss bill of rights.

The Pregnancy And Infant Loss Bill Of Rights

When a pregnancy ends or a baby dies, there is such helplessness felt by the parents of that child. Losing your baby makes you feel as if you've lost your sense of self. How do you move forward after such heartbreak? How do you make sense amidst the devastation? This struggle can be made more…

9 Things Healthcare Providers Can Do To Support Families Through Pregnancy and Infant Loss

By now it is commonly known that one in four pregnancies will end in a loss. No one should be more aware of this statistic than the countless healthcare providers who will care for these women and their families during their loss. One would assume, given the common nature of pregnancy and infant loss, that…

I Didn’t Think I Wanted Photos Of My Stillborn Baby And I Was Wrong

I sat there, cradling my stillborn daughter in my arms when they asked if I wanted photos. I looked at them horrified--why would I want a photo of me holding my dead child? So, I said no. My medical situation was urgent and I was running out of time to hold my baby. Even though…