To My Fellow Loss Mamas–I Love You No Matter What

Dear Courageous Mama, I want you to know that I love you. No matter when or how your baby died, you deserve nothing but love and support. And that, beautiful mama, is what I have for you. I love you in your moments of celebration.  I love you in your moments of grief. I love…

In Our House, We Never Say “Don’t Cry”

We cry in this house. We cry when the grandma dies in Moana, we cry when we don't get our way, and we cry when we're tired. It doesn't matter if you're a toddler or an adult--everyone in our household cries. What happens when we cry? We comfort one another, we pass the tissues, we…

Inside The Mind Of A Woman Pregnant After Loss–What We Want To Say

Congratulations. Your co-worker, friend, or loved one are pregnant after their loss. You were (hopefully) there to support them when they experienced the heartbreak of their loss and now you’re thrilled to be there for them in this subsequent pregnancy. There are a million questions that you want to ask them. You want to talk…

Our Society Is Obsessed With Pregnancies and Babies–Until They Die

Pregnancy announcements. Baby showers. Gender reveals. Maternity photoshoots. Creating registries. As soon as you see two lines, there are countless ways you are encouraged to prepare and celebrate your pregnancy and baby on the way. It seems like we can't get enough of a person when they are expecting their little bundle (or bundles) of…

Know Your Circle–Using Ring Theory To Support Those Grieving

When my daughter was stillborn, I found myself exhausted. Her death had drained me and left me very little emotional strength to deal with anything or anyone else. I wanted support without any engagement, but that seemed like a lot to ask for. There were few people who would simply let me unload. Most people…

The New Year May Not Be A Fresh Start–But It’s Also Not An Ending

I think we put a lot of pressure on New Year's Day. We are eager for a fresh start and we place our hopes inside that first little box of the month. We promise ourselves that this will be our year--our new beginning. But, that's not what happens on New Year's Day. Do you know…

When my daughter died, it was a Kindergarten student who found the words to comfort me.

How A Child Found The Words To Ease My Grieving Heart

Baby Dorothy--that's what they called her. My Kindergarten class squealed in delight when I announced my pregnancy and they couldn't wait for her to arrive. Then, she died. When it was time to go back to work, I was afraid to see my students. I knew that they loved me and that they hurt for…

For all the nurses who heal with compassion after stillbirth and miscarriage

To The Nurses Whose Compassion Helped Me Heal After My Baby Was Stillborn

To the nurses, Thank you for saving me. Your skills and your knowledge saved me from following my daughter into death, but it was your compassion that guided me back towards life. The humanity you demonstrated is what brought me back into life; you made it possible to think about living after death. For this,…