My Darkest Days

Loss has changed the light in my world.  Before Dorothy's death, there were days of dark and light.  Even if the darkness settled in for a stay, the light that followed was clear and bright.  The world would sparkle before my eyes with dazzling color.  This is no longer what I see.  I still have…

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How You Can Support Your Loved One During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

If you have a loved one who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss, you may already know that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  You may have noticed what an important month this is in our loss community.  You may be aware of events taking place to commemorate this month.  But have you…

The Choices We Must Make When Our Baby Dies

There is a popular philosophy that our happiness in life comes down to the choices we make.  According to this philosophy, your mood and your circumstances are a reflection of the choices you have made.  It suggests that if you are unhappy with your life, all you need to do is make a different choice.…

Life Is A Challenge Worth Living

"Being alive is challenging."-Tom Petty I made a confession to my husband today.  I told him a secret that I have been harboring for the last 19 months.  In the days after Dorothy's death, I wanted to die. The preeclampsia that killed Dorothy had almost killed me.  My doctors saved my life.  I wished that…

The Power of ‘And’: How One Word Changed The Way I Grieve

Five weeks after Dorothy died, my nephew was born.  I remember going to to our weekly therapy session and sharing this news with our therapist.  Of course she wanted to know how I was feeling about his arrival.  I replied that I was so happy that he was safely here but I was also happy…

I Know It Was Hard When My Baby Died–It Was Hard For Me Too

I know my baby's death was hard on you.  It was hard on me too. I'm sorry that it makes you uncomfortable when I say their name.  To be honest, it makes me uncomfortable that you won't. When I mention them, I know you feel the need to change the conversation because you're sad.  I'm…

Looking to the Past and Seeing the Future

The morning after we lost Dorothy, I woke up in the ICU terrified and alone.  The memories of the day before tore through me like a natural disaster.  My eyes flew open and that's when things became even more terrifying.  I couldn't see.  I reached for my glasses to remedy the blurriness I was facing,…