Grief Is Not Just Surviving Those First Minutes, It’s About Living All The Minutes That Come After

I didn't hear the door close, but I felt it. I sat up just enough in my hospital bed so I could look that way. Just visible through the glass was the outline of the nurse's shoulders--hunched and tense as she so carefully carried my daughter out of the room. I quickly looked away. I…

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The Real Heroes Of The Abortion Debate Are The Mothers Facing Impossible Decisions

The words I write here are not for the people on the very many sides of the late-term abortion debate--the ones who mistake themselves as the heroes and the champions. The words I write here are for those who are trapped in the middle. The ones whose stories are being used to make a point.…

To My Fellow Loss Mamas–I Love You No Matter What

Dear Courageous Mama, I want you to know that I love you. No matter when or how your baby died, you deserve nothing but love and support. And that, beautiful mama, is what I have for you. I love you in your moments of celebration.  I love you in your moments of grief. I love…

The Should-Be, Could-Be, Would-Bes Of Baby Loss

There's a sense of uncertainty when your baby dies. Whether you've lost them at 5 weeks gestation or 10 months after birth, it can be difficult to figure out how to grieve a life so brief. Grief is so often tied to the memories we have of the deceased. We find comfort in thinking about…

Yes, I Had A Miscarriage And Yes, I Flushed

I was not well prepared for what it would be like to have a miscarriage. I figured there would be blood, but I didn't realize how much. I assumed there would be cramping, but I didn't know it would be so intense. I had vague ideas of what it would be to have a miscarriage,…

When Your Baby Dies You Get To Be Angry

The anger arrived three days after my daughter died. I sat in my hospital bed staring down at my arms. Purple and swollen from blown out veins and the IVs and tubes that saved my life. My skin, mottled and ugly, bearing the bruises of my battle with death. The battle that I only half…

In Our House, We Never Say “Don’t Cry”

We cry in this house. We cry when the grandma dies in Moana, we cry when we don't get our way, and we cry when we're tired. It doesn't matter if you're a toddler or an adult--everyone in our household cries. What happens when we cry? We comfort one another, we pass the tissues, we…