I’m The Lady With The Dead Baby

I'm the lady with the dead baby. It's okay, I'm allowed to be so blunt because it's my truth.  I am the lady whose baby died. One day my baby was living and the next day she died.  That is what happened.  It doesn't offend me if you acknowledge this. It offends me when you…

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When You Lose A Child, The “New Normal” Will Never Feel Normal

When your child has died, you may be introduced to the concept of the "new normal."  This is the place where you are expected to reside after your loss.  It's meant to be a place where life will go on, but it will go on differently.  I am not against the concept of a new…

Enough with the silence--let's talk about stillbirth.

Enough With The Silence–We Need To Talk About Stillbirth

It was almost 9:00 at night when I was admitted to the hospital.  An hour later and I had been visited by doctors from at least four different departments.  There was the doctor from Maternal-Fetal Medicine who was there to give me the Cliff-Notes on preeclampsia and explain how shitty I was going to feel on…

My Stillborn Baby Still Has A Birth Story

On February 22, 2016 our daughter, Dorothy Grace Helena Whalen was stillborn.  This is a continuation of her story. When I transferred to the Intensive Care Unit, everything came with me--large plastic bags stuffed with clothing, haphazardly stacked books and magazines, a jumble of flower arrangements.  All of this traveled on a large, noisy cart as I was rushed from labor…

My Baby Died, Please Don’t Let Me Die Too

On February 22, 2016 our daughter, Dorothy Grace Helena Whalen was stillborn.  This is the continuation of her story. The shock and devastation of losing Dorothy had numbed me.  No longer was I aware of the experience of my own body.  I knew Dorothy was gone, that she had died, but I was not yet aware of how sick…

I’m Sorry, There Is No Heartbeat

On February 22, 2016 our daughter, Dorothy Grace Helena Whalen was stillborn.  This is her story. They were ready to send me home.  So, they were going to send me home and have me visit the hospital daily for monitoring.  I was on board.  I felt fine. Dorothy was doing well, and I imagined it would be best…