To Those Who Don’t Know What It’s Like To Have Your Baby Die, Consider It Your Privilege

When I say that my daughter died, people will often respond: "I'm sorry I didn't know." Their response makes me smile in that sad sort of way because it reminds me that when my baby died, there was so much I didn't know. I didn't know it was possible to keep breathing when your baby's…

Sleepless Nights Aren’t Just For The Moms Who Bring Home Their Babies

People love to tell moms-to-be about how exhausted they are going to be. Some almost seem to get a thrill from teasing about the sleepless nights that lay ahead. "Just you wait," they'll say with a knowing smirk, "life with a baby is exhausting." I wonder if they know that life without the baby is…

It’s Not Just Mothers That Have Lost A Baby–Let Us Not Forget The Dads

Let's take a moment to recognize the dads--the grieving dads. When people acknowledge pregnancy and infant loss, they turn to the moms with their comfort and support. But it's not just the mothers who have lost a baby. Let us not forget the dads and their own experiences with the heartbreak of losing a baby.…

The Fear (And Joy) Of Seeing A Positive Pregnancy Test After Losing A Baby

My struggle has never lied in getting pregnant. My struggle is keeping babies. I've been pregnant 4 times and I've only brought one baby home. I know that there are women who have never seen a positive test, or women who have yet to bring home a live baby. There are women who will never…

The Truth About Baby Loss–Others Will Never Understand And You Will Always Remember

To the parent who has lost a child, Do you have a person in your life who never mentions your child? Do you know someone who changes the subject when you mention the piece of your heart that is missing? Do you know what it's like to be pulled aside and told that it's time…

Through Loss, Grief, And Trying Again–He Was There

He was there the day that we saw that first positive test. When we danced around the kitchen, calling our families to share our exciting news, he was there. And, two days later, when the cramping began and I watched my dreams bleed out, he was there. He was there when we dared to hope…

Grief Is Not Just Surviving Those First Minutes, It’s About Living All The Minutes That Come After

I didn't hear the door close, but I felt it. I sat up just enough in my hospital bed so I could look that way. Just visible through the glass was the outline of the nurse's shoulders--hunched and tense as she so carefully carried my daughter out of the room. I quickly looked away. I…

To My Fellow Loss Mamas–I Love You No Matter What

Dear Courageous Mama, I want you to know that I love you. No matter when or how your baby died, you deserve nothing but love and support. And that, beautiful mama, is what I have for you. I love you in your moments of celebration.  I love you in your moments of grief. I love…