After Our Babies Die–How Do We Do It?

How do we do it? Those of us who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss, how do we do it when it all seems impossible? When we are told the worst news of our life--how do we comprehend it? How do we stare at silent screens? How do we hear heartbreaking news? How do we…

The New Year May Not Be A Fresh Start–But It’s Also Not An Ending

I think we put a lot of pressure on New Year's Day. We are eager for a fresh start and we place our hopes inside that first little box of the month. We promise ourselves that this will be our year--our new beginning. But, that's not what happens on New Year's Day. Do you know…

The Holidays Hurt Because This Is Not The Last Holiday Without Them

This will be my third Christmas since my daughter was stillborn and it hurts that she's not here. For three years I have known the heartache of balancing grief and joy during the holiday season. I have learned a lot about how to cope during the holidays, so it seems like it shouldn't hurt so…

We Hang Four Stockings In A House Where Three People Live

Someday, during a future Christmastime, I imagine that my daughter will ask me a question. Her tone will be inquisitive and her eyes curious, but it will not be a question deep with meaning. Instead, her question will be imbued with the simple curiosity of a child who notices when the number of stockings doesn't…

Grieving dads need support---especially from other grieving dads.

Dads Grieve Too–Resources For The Father Grieving Their Child

Dads grieve too. The women in our loss community say it often and we say it with such passion. Dads grieve too. However, right after we finish that statement a question inevitably arises.  Yes, dads grieve but how do we support them in their grief?   There’s a lot we, as women, can do. We can listen…

This is what it's like to lose a baby.

What Is It Like When A Baby Dies?

When a baby dies, there are questions.   There are questions that have concrete answers.  When did your baby die?  How old were they?  Why did they die? And then there are the questions that no one really asks, but everybody wonders.  These are the questions that ask--what is it like when your baby dies?  How…

For all the nurses who heal with compassion after stillbirth and miscarriage

To The Nurses Whose Compassion Helped Me Heal After My Baby Was Stillborn

To the nurses, Thank you for saving me. Your skills and your knowledge saved me from following my daughter into death, but it was your compassion that guided me back towards life. The humanity you demonstrated is what brought me back into life; you made it possible to think about living after death. For this,…

Losing a baby gets easier--and it never stops being hard.

The Grief Of Your Baby’s Death Gets Easier To Carry–And It Never Stops Being Hard

The experience of having your baby die--it is hard stuff. Those first minutes and days and weeks feel impossible.  You find yourself living minute to minute.  You are just trying to get one moment further in this new life you didn't ask for.  The most basic tasks of living feel arduous.  Breathing, eating, bathing, sitting…