Men don't grieve differently because they are men, they grieve differently because no one grieves the same.

Let’s Stop Telling Men How They Grieve–Just Let Them Grieve

So often when we talk about pregnancy and infant loss, there is a light being shone on the bereaved mother.  She is vulnerable and strong all at once.  She inspires our deepest sympathies and encourages us to listen to her story. But, what about the fathers? Despite our best intentions, women have become the face…

To The Mother Wishing For A Living Baby–You Don’t Need My Empty Promises

To the mother waiting for her living baby, I want to tell you that I love you.  I want to tell you that I think you are courageous and gracious and strong.  There are so many words that spill from my heart when I witness your pain and hear your story.  But, there is one…

In pregnancy after loss, everything's okay until it isn't.

Being Pregnant After Losing A Baby Means Knowing Everything’s Okay Until It Isn’t

The appointment is over and your doctor or midwife has just told you that everything looks great.  Your baby is doing well and everything is okay.  One hand on your bump, you schedule your next appointment with a sense of relief that feels dangerously close to bliss.  You turn to leave and you are barely…

What I wish I had known about my miscarriage

10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About Miscarriage

Before my first miscarriage I thought I understood what miscarriage was--your pregnancy would come to an end, you would probably be sad, and then you would move on.  I thought I knew it all and in reality, I knew so very little.  Before I began sharing my own experience, I had never really heard anyone…

What I Would Do If I Had One More Minute With My Baby Who Died

Minutes.  Everything I remember about the day that Dorothy died can be measured in minutes.  There were the minutes spent searching for a heartbeat that wasn't there.  The minutes spent delivering a baby that came so silently.  The minutes we were together as a family of three.   And when it was all over, there was…

To The Mother Whose Baby Has Died–I Know, Because My Baby Died Too

Dear Beautiful Mother, I know.   I know how it feels to have your heart feel both heavy and hollow.  I know how it feels for your arms to ache from the emptiness they are holding.  I know that your life will never be the same.  There is no going back to the way things…

To the person who gave me advice on my grief--here's what you need to know.

To The Person Who Gave Me Advice On My Grief–Here’s What You Need To Know

When someone is grieving, people want to offer support.  Instead, they offer advice.  Advice is not always supportive.  Especially if the person offering the advice has never been through the same experience as the person they are trying to support.  I once had a conversation with a family member who felt like they were helping. …