Finding The Words–5 Things To Say After A Baby Dies

When a baby dies it is devastating. It is an unexpected and heartbreaking tragedy. It is very possible that people might not know what to say and that makes sense. They may wonder how could words ever be enough to take away the pain? What could one possibly say to remove the burden of losing…

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Honor Your Grief AND The Environment–5 Sustainable Ways To Memorialize Your Loved One

There is no one way to grieve. This is fact. Grief does not come with a rule book. We are not meant to judge the grief experience of another. However, there is one grief practice that I would like reconsidered--the balloon release. Many people choose to release balloons to memorialize their deceased loved ones. Often…

Dear Abby: Your Advice About Grief Is Not Helpful And It Hurts

Oh, Abby. I saw your column today--the one where you gave advice to Crystal in Nevada. She wrote to you asking how to cope with her aunt who had a stillbirth 20 years ago. Crystal wanted to know how to talk to this aunt who lives such a “morbid lifestyle.” To encourage her to move…

I Don’t Need Help Finding The Bright Side Of Baby Loss–There Isn’t One

When my daughter died, everyone wanted to know what could they do. How could they help me feel better? What would make this easier? Their questions confused me. During the darkest days of my life, it seemed impossible to feel better. I could think of nothing that would cheer me up. It took some time…

7 Ways To Include the Grieving Mother On Mother’s Day

My first Mother's Day was a lonely one. It had been only 2 months since my daughter was stillborn and while I wasn't exactly expecting an endless stream of cards and well-wishers, I was expecting something. After all, I was a mother. The day came and went with very little reach-out from friends and family.…

Mothers Are Not Made By The Babies They Hold–Mothers Are Made By The Babies They Love

Why do we wait to hand out the title of mother? Why is a woman carrying a child only thought of as a mom-to-be. It's as if she won't be a mother until she's up all night with a crying baby or her house is strewn with toys and dirty laundry. Like she must earn…

I Saw The Photo Of The 8 Pregnant Nurses And It Made Me Wonder–Who Is Missing From The Picture?

By now you've probably seen this picture. You've probably heard of the 9 labor and delivery nurses who are all pregnant at the same time.  When I look at this picture, I feel happy for these women and their shared experience. I wish them all the very best in their pregnancy. But, my heart truly…