After Our Babies Die–How Do We Do It?

How do we do it? Those of us who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss, how do we do it when it all seems impossible? When we are told the worst news of our life--how do we comprehend it? How do we stare at silent screens? How do we hear heartbreaking news? How do we…

We Hang Four Stockings In A House Where Three People Live

Someday, during a future Christmastime, I imagine that my daughter will ask me a question. Her tone will be inquisitive and her eyes curious, but it will not be a question deep with meaning. Instead, her question will be imbued with the simple curiosity of a child who notices when the number of stockings doesn't…

This is what it's like to lose a baby.

What Is It Like When A Baby Dies?

When a baby dies, there are questions.   There are questions that have concrete answers.  When did your baby die?  How old were they?  Why did they die? And then there are the questions that no one really asks, but everybody wonders.  These are the questions that ask--what is it like when your baby dies?  How…

What's it like to become a grieving parent

Now I’m Them–When You Realize What It’s Like To Be The Grieving Parent

Years ago, I received a phone call from a former co-worker, telling me that a student I knew had been hit by a car and died.  She was just about to turn 6 years old.  I was devastated by this news.  She was such a spunky and sweet girl who I had nicknamed Ramona, because…

Knowing The Helpful (And Hurtful) Things To Say When Someone Has Lost A Baby

A grieving parent can receive many things from people after the death of their child.  They may receive cards, casseroles, texts, gift cards, and flowers.  They may receive visitors at their door or phone calls from loved ones far away.   I was the recipient of all these things when my own daughter died, but…