The day my daughter died was a hard day, but the hardest day of my life was the day I picked up her remains.

I Didn’t Know They Made Urns That Tiny

The day that my daughter died was a very difficult day, but it is not the worst day of my life.  It's not the worst day because it was also the day she was born.  Her birthday and her death day are forever intertwined--one a moment of light and the other a moment of darkness…

When my daughter died, it was a Kindergarten student who found the words to comfort me.

How A Child Found The Words To Ease My Grieving Heart

Baby Dorothy--that's what they called her. My Kindergarten class squealed in delight when I announced my pregnancy and they couldn't wait for her to arrive. Then, she died. When it was time to go back to work, I was afraid to see my students. I knew that they loved me and that they hurt for…

Losing a baby gets easier--and it never stops being hard.

The Grief Of Your Baby’s Death Gets Easier To Carry–And It Never Stops Being Hard

The experience of having your baby die--it is hard stuff. Those first minutes and days and weeks feel impossible.  You find yourself living minute to minute.  You are just trying to get one moment further in this new life you didn't ask for.  The most basic tasks of living feel arduous.  Breathing, eating, bathing, sitting…

I Won’t Put A Trigger Warning On My Baby Who Died And Why No Parent Should Have To

These words are for those who have known the heartache of pregnancy and infant loss-the mothers and fathers, grandparents, and loved ones.  I am writing for those of you who so lovingly share your stories of loss and the photos of your babies gone too soon. I need you to know something. Your story is…

Therapy can be an important tool in healing after loss.

Using Therapy To Heal After Pregnancy And Infant Loss

There’s an assumption that people go to therapy to fix what’s broken.  I believe this is a reason why people regard therapy with such hesitation.  It’s painful to face your fragmented life and it can be even more painful to pick up the pieces. If you’re a bereaved parent, you might not see the point…

It's been over two years and I still don't know what to do with my daughter's remains.

All That Remains–Why I Haven’t Laid My Daughter To Rest

All that remains of my daughter, Dorothy, rests on my desk.  Nestled in between a stack of journals and my pencil cup of felt tip pens, there is a tiny ceramic urn adorned with a floral pattern in purple and ivory.  I wish I could give a poignant reason for her being there. But, the…

I am moving on after the death of my child and I am taking her with me.

I Am “Moving On” After The Death Of My Child — And I Am Taking Her With Me

I'm not sure who was the first to say it, but after my daughter, Dorothy, died there were many who assured me that I would move on.  They phrased it like a promise -- a reassurance that one day soon I would set down my grief and return to a life of happiness.  In my…

Putting myself first after my daughter's stillbirth helped me to heal.

My Baby’s Death Made Me A Self-Centered Person And I Wouldn’t Have It Any Other Way

I used to pride myself on being the kind of person who would do anything for anyone.  I regularly put the needs and wants of others before my own.  I thought I was being such a nice person if I considered the people around me at the sake of ignoring myself. When my daughter was…