Having a baby after a loss will not fix the pain, but it can still bring you hope.

Why “Rainbow Babies” Are Not A Cure For Grief

When Dorothy died, I plummeted.  I found myself in the lowest place I had ever been to.  It was far below any place I had visited before.  You might know the level I speak of; a low so far down that when you look up, you see black. There is nothing there for you.  And…

It's been over two years and I still don't know what to do with my daughter's remains.

All That Remains–Why I Haven’t Laid My Daughter To Rest

All that remains of my daughter, Dorothy, rests on my desk.  Nestled in between a stack of journals and my pencil cup of felt tip pens, there is a tiny ceramic urn adorned with a floral pattern in purple and ivory.  I wish I could give a poignant reason for her being there. But, the…

I am moving on after the death of my child and I am taking her with me.

I Am “Moving On” After The Death Of My Child — And I Am Taking Her With Me

I'm not sure who was the first to say it, but after my daughter, Dorothy, died there were many who assured me that I would move on.  They phrased it like a promise -- a reassurance that one day soon I would set down my grief and return to a life of happiness.  In my…

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, but we would rather have a lifetime with our babies.

I Would Rather Have A Lifetime–Why Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Month Will Never Be Enough

October is here. In my world, this means crisp leaves and chunky sweaters and it also means participating in Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  The month of October is widely recognized as a time to honor those families who know the experience of losing a baby. It might sound depressing to participate in a…

To The Mother Wishing For A Living Baby–You Don’t Need My Empty Promises

To the mother waiting for her living baby, I want to tell you that I love you.  I want to tell you that I think you are courageous and gracious and strong.  There are so many words that spill from my heart when I witness your pain and hear your story.  But, there is one…

In pregnancy after loss, everything's okay until it isn't.

Being Pregnant After Losing A Baby Means Knowing Everything’s Okay Until It Isn’t

The appointment is over and your doctor or midwife has just told you that everything looks great.  Your baby is doing well and everything is okay.  One hand on your bump, you schedule your next appointment with a sense of relief that feels dangerously close to bliss.  You turn to leave and you are barely…

Putting myself first after my daughter's stillbirth helped me to heal.

My Baby’s Death Made Me A Self-Centered Person And I Wouldn’t Have It Any Other Way

I used to pride myself on being the kind of person who would do anything for anyone.  I regularly put the needs and wants of others before my own.  I thought I was being such a nice person if I considered the people around me at the sake of ignoring myself. When my daughter was…