What It’s Like To Be Facing Another Month After The Loss Of Your Baby

Rabbit, rabbit. Another month begins.  While everyone around you breathes a sigh of relief, you draw in a deep breath.  Others relish in the idea of a blank slate while you dread the uncertainty of what this month may hold.  Everyone else sees the 1st as the start of just another month, but for you--it's…

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How to survive the holidays when you are grieving.

How to Survive the Holidays–An Alternative Guide For Grievers

The holidays are here and you are feeling less than jolly.  I get it. You are exhausted from participating in the pageantry of the season while trying to carry your heart that is heavy with grief.  It feels unfair that you have to work so hard at self-care and demonstrating kindness just to keep yourself…

Counting My Blessings and Coming Up Short

I get it.  Thanksgiving is a time of year when I'm supposed to focus on what I have and not on what I want.  Instead, of hoping for more I am encouraged to be grateful with what is already present. No, thank you. Everyday I encounter people who believe that I should be thankful for…

My Stillborn Baby Still Has A Birth Story

On February 22, 2016 our daughter, Dorothy Grace Helena Whalen was stillborn.  This is a continuation of her story. When I transferred to the Intensive Care Unit, everything came with me--large plastic bags stuffed with clothing, haphazardly stacked books and magazines, a jumble of flower arrangements.  All of this traveled on a large, noisy cart as I was rushed from labor…

My Baby Died, Please Don’t Let Me Die Too

On February 22, 2016 our daughter, Dorothy Grace Helena Whalen was stillborn.  This is the continuation of her story. The shock and devastation of losing Dorothy had numbed me.  No longer was I aware of the experience of my own body.  I knew Dorothy was gone, that she had died, but I was not yet aware of how sick…

I’m Sorry, There Is No Heartbeat

On February 22, 2016 our daughter, Dorothy Grace Helena Whalen was stillborn.  This is her story. They were ready to send me home.  So, they were going to send me home and have me visit the hospital daily for monitoring.  I was on board.  I felt fine. Dorothy was doing well, and I imagined it would be best…

What's it like to become a grieving parent

Now I’m Them–When You Realize What It’s Like To Be The Grieving Parent

Years ago, I received a phone call from a former co-worker, telling me that a student I knew had been hit by a car and died.  She was just about to turn 6 years old.  I was devastated by this news.  She was such a spunky and sweet girl who I had nicknamed Ramona, because…