The day my daughter died was a hard day, but the hardest day of my life was the day I picked up her remains.

I Didn’t Know They Made Urns That Tiny

The day that my daughter died was a very difficult day, but it is not the worst day of my life.  It's not the worst day because it was also the day she was born.  Her birthday and her death day are forever intertwined--one a moment of light and the other a moment of darkness…

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When You Lose A Child, The “New Normal” Will Never Feel Normal

When your child has died, you may be introduced to the concept of the "new normal."  This is the place where you are expected to reside after your loss.  It's meant to be a place where life will go on, but it will go on differently.  I am not against the concept of a new…

40 MORE Things That Can Really Suck After Losing A Baby

When I wrote my first list, 40 Things That Can Really Suck After Losing A Baby, the response was overwhelming.  Moms and dads everywhere could relate to many of the items on the list. I also heard from many of you that the list was incomplete.  I agree.  Unfortunately, the list of things that SUCK after losing…

A Vacation From Grief

I love this picture of us. It was taken on a trip to Washington D.C. two years ago. While on our tour of the White House, my husband, Mike, and I paused to take a silly selfie in one of the mirrors in the East Room. We look so happy. . Looking at this picture,…

Happy Birthday Dorothy: Year 2

Dear Dorothy, Happy Birthday my beautiful girl.  I hope that wherever you spent your day, you felt all the love that was being sent to you.  If you were here right now, I would wrap my arms around you so that you could feel every bit of it. I spent some time today imagining what…

When You Say “I Forgive,” But Your Heart Won’t Forget

Losing a child has made me good at many things.  I'm good at crying in the grocery store and also at hiding my tears.  I'm good at saying what's on my heart and I've become good at helping others find their voice.  I've even become good at forgiving others when their words and actions leave…

5 Truths About My Marriage After The Stillbirth Of Our Child

Staying married after your baby dies is a challenge. It can be a struggle to just keep yourself together--keeping a relationship intact can feel impossible. Some people say it's luck. Some people say it's hard work. In the case of my own marriage, I'm not sure if it was luck or work. I don't think…