No one wins at the grief Olympics.

No One Wins At The Grief Olympics

There is no winning with grief.  Yes, there are gains and there are definitely losses, but there is no way to determine who has reached the highest level of grief.  Unlike the Olympic athletes who showcase their strength and prowess, there are no set criteria to determine whose grief has earned them a medal. There are…

Happy Birthday Dorothy: Year 2

Dear Dorothy, Happy Birthday my beautiful girl.  I hope that wherever you spent your day, you felt all the love that was being sent to you.  If you were here right now, I would wrap my arms around you so that you could feel every bit of it. I spent some time today imagining what…

When You Say “I Forgive,” But Your Heart Won’t Forget

Losing a child has made me good at many things.  I'm good at crying in the grocery store and also at hiding my tears.  I'm good at saying what's on my heart and I've become good at helping others find their voice.  I've even become good at forgiving others when their words and actions leave…

5 Truths About My Marriage After The Stillbirth Of Our Child

Staying married after your baby dies is a challenge. It can be a struggle to just keep yourself together--keeping a relationship intact can feel impossible. Some people say it's luck. Some people say it's hard work. In the case of my own marriage, I'm not sure if it was luck or work. I don't think…

What It’s Like To Be Facing Another Month After The Loss Of Your Baby

Rabbit, rabbit. Another month begins.  While everyone around you breathes a sigh of relief, you draw in a deep breath.  Others relish in the idea of a blank slate while you dread the uncertainty of what this month may hold.  Everyone else sees the 1st as the start of just another month, but for you--it's…

Constant Vigilance

I wonder what J.K. Rowling would think if she knew that she has a fan club among those who are grieving.  I can't imagine she would be too surprised.  The Harry Potter books are imbued with references to grief and living after the loss of a loved one.  In fact, J.K Rowling has stated that…

When You’re Gone: A Tribute to Dolores O’Riordan

If you know me at all, you had to know this was coming. I am devastated. Why? Because (I hope) everyone has that band, that musician who has acted as their buoy in life; who has kept them from drowning at one time or another. That band for me has been the Cranberries. The first…