When You Lose A Child, The “New Normal” Will Never Feel Normal

When your child has died, you may be introduced to the concept of the "new normal."  This is the place where you are expected to reside after your loss.  It's meant to be a place where life will go on, but it will go on differently.  I am not against the concept of a new…

Thank You Mr. Ramsey: Why That Cartoon of Barbara and Robin Mattered SO Much

Dear Marshall Ramsey, Thank you.  Those words don't seem nearly big enough right now for the incredible gift you have given our community.  What community is that?  I'm talking about our community of bereaved parents.  Loss moms and dads.  We are a tribe of people being forced to live here on Earth without one or…

40 MORE Things That Can Really Suck After Losing A Baby

When I wrote my first list, 40 Things That Can Really Suck After Losing A Baby, the response was overwhelming.  Moms and dads everywhere could relate to many of the items on the list. I also heard from many of you that the list was incomplete.  I agree.  Unfortunately, the list of things that SUCK after losing…

40 Things That Can Really Suck After Your Baby Dies

No matter how they died, losing a baby sucks.  It really does. Here's what else has the potential to suck after your baby dies. 1. Baby shower invites. 2. Social media. 3. Playgrounds. 4. Small talk. 5. Commercials for pregnancy tests. 6. Crying in the grocery store. 7. Crying at work. 8. Crying in your…

What Every Woman Having A Miscarriage Wants To Say And What Every Doctor Needs To Understand

Hello?  Is this the doctor?  Yes, I'm calling to let you know that I'm spotting. I know there's nothing you can do. I understand that medically speaking, it's still very early in my pregnancy.  Yes, I know that you want me to drink some water and rest. I'm listening to what you're saying, but now I need you…

When You Say “I Forgive,” But Your Heart Won’t Forget

Losing a child has made me good at many things.  I'm good at crying in the grocery store and also at hiding my tears.  I'm good at saying what's on my heart and I've become good at helping others find their voice.  I've even become good at forgiving others when their words and actions leave…

5 Truths About My Marriage After The Stillbirth Of Our Child

Staying married after your baby dies is a challenge. It can be a struggle to just keep yourself together--keeping a relationship intact can feel impossible. Some people say it's luck. Some people say it's hard work. In the case of my own marriage, I'm not sure if it was luck or work. I don't think…

What It’s Like To Be Facing Another Month After The Loss Of Your Baby

Rabbit, rabbit. Another month begins.  While everyone around you breathes a sigh of relief, you draw in a deep breath.  Others relish in the idea of a blank slate while you dread the uncertainty of what this month may hold.  Everyone else sees the 1st as the start of just another month, but for you--it's…