To My Stillborn Baby, I Still Carry You With Me

They said there was no heartbeat. They said you left. They said you died inside of me. And while that is true, we both know that you never really went anywhere. They told me that you would be born still. They said your eyes would never open, your lungs would never draw breath. They told…

To My Fellow Loss Mamas–I Love You No Matter What

Dear Courageous Mama, I want you to know that I love you. No matter when or how your baby died, you deserve nothing but love and support. And that, beautiful mama, is what I have for you. I love you in your moments of celebration.  I love you in your moments of grief. I love…

Even Though My Baby Died, You Can Still Call Me ‘Mama’

I remember when I announced my pregnancy and you said, "Congratulations Mama." I remember when my bump started showing and you squealed, "You look so good, Mama!" I remember at my baby shower when you asked, "Are you ready for this Mama?" And then, I had to tell you that my baby died. You told…

How Do You Love Your Post-Baby Body When There Is No Baby?

When your baby dies, you seek validation of their existence. Your heart scrambles for someone else to acknowledge their realness. A panicky feeling thuds within as you are left wondering if something can be real when you are the only one who knows it existed. The validation you are looking for will come and it…

You Can Be Grateful And Still Complain When Parenting After Loss

I distinctly remember those sleepless nights. I’m referring to the ones that came after my daughter, Dorothy, was stillborn. I would toss and turn for hours, my eyes burning from the steady stream of tears that fell. The sleepless nights after losing a baby are brutal. As I lay there I would torment myself by…

When your baby dies and you are left watching the life of a baby who lived.

When Your Baby Dies And You Are Left Watching Another Live The Life You Lost

My daughter, Frances, has a favorite game that we play.  It’s called ‘baby in the mirror’ and it consists of her father or I holding her up so she can watch ‘the baby in the mirror.’ She is fascinated by her reflection and she seems both elated and unsure of what her mirror baby might…

I am moving on after the death of my child and I am taking her with me.

I Am “Moving On” After The Death Of My Child — And I Am Taking Her With Me

I'm not sure who was the first to say it, but after my daughter, Dorothy, died there were many who assured me that I would move on.  They phrased it like a promise -- a reassurance that one day soon I would set down my grief and return to a life of happiness.  In my…

A stillbirth is still a birth.

I Need You To Know That My Stillbirth Was Still A Birth

Chances are, even if you don't know who, you know someone whose life has been impacted a stillbirth.  If you are aware of this, then you probably know how important it is to acknowledge and honor the baby who was lost.  You may have heard the parents ask for you to say their baby's name…