I Don’t Need Help Finding The Bright Side Of Baby Loss–There Isn’t One

When my daughter died, everyone wanted to know what could they do. How could they help me feel better? What would make this easier? Their questions confused me. During the darkest days of my life, it seemed impossible to feel better. I could think of nothing that would cheer me up. It took some time…

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We’re Not Laughing–Why It’s Time To Stop Posting Fake Pregnancy Announcements On Facebook

If you have a Facebook account, then you've probably seen your fair share of fake pregnancy announcements. Maybe it's because they're often copied and pasted from somewhere else, but they're always the same. A blurry ultrasound photo accompanied by a lengthy caption containing far too many exclamation points and feigned surprise at the new arrival…

An Unexpected Family Outing’s Top 10 Pieces of 2018

A year ago, as the calendar flipped to 2018, I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would do everything I could to rise and meet my dreams. One of those dreams was to further establish myself as a writer and this year was proof that dreams come true. My words have been…

Losing a baby gets easier--and it never stops being hard.

Losing A Baby Gets Easier–And It Never Stops Being Hard

The experience of having your baby die--it is hard stuff. Those first minutes and days and weeks feel impossible.  You find yourself living minute to minute.  You are just trying to get one moment further in this new life you didn't ask for.  The most basic tasks of living feel arduous.  Breathing, eating, bathing, sitting…

Men don't grieve differently because they are men, they grieve differently because no one grieves the same.

Let’s Stop Telling Men How They Grieve–Just Let Them Grieve

So often when we talk about pregnancy and infant loss, there is a light being shone on the bereaved mother.  She is vulnerable and strong all at once.  She inspires our deepest sympathies and encourages us to listen to her story. But, what about the fathers? Despite our best intentions, women have become the face…

Having a baby after a loss will not fix the pain, but it can still bring you hope.

Why “Rainbow Babies” Are Not A Cure For Grief

When Dorothy died, I plummeted.  I found myself in the lowest place I had ever been to.  It was far below any place I had visited before.  You might know the level I speak of; a low so far down that when you look up, you see black. There is nothing there for you.  And…

It's been over two years and I still don't know what to do with my daughter's remains.

All That Remains–Why I Haven’t Laid My Daughter To Rest

All that remains of my daughter, Dorothy, rests on my desk.  Nestled in between a stack of journals and my pencil cup of felt tip pens, there is a tiny ceramic urn adorned with a floral pattern in purple and ivory.  I wish I could give a poignant reason for her being there. But, the…