I Didn’t Think I Wanted Photos Of My Stillborn Baby And I Was Wrong

I sat there, cradling my stillborn daughter in my arms when they asked if I wanted photos. I looked at them horrified--why would I want a photo of me holding my dead child? So, I said no. My medical situation was urgent and I was running out of time to hold my baby. Even though…

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I Wish I Had Known That Stillbirth Was A Possibility

What I'm about to say might scare you and to be honest, it should. If you are pregnant or plan to be pregnant, there is a chance that your baby could be stillborn. Why am I telling you this? Because no one told me. Not even when I was on bedrest and doing everything I…

To The Woman Who Wondered If It Was Necessary To Share A Photo Of My Dead Baby

To The Woman Who Wondered If It Was Necessary To Share A Photo Of My Dead Baby

This is to the woman who wondered if a photo of a dead baby was necessary on a Facebook feed. Yes. That photo of a dead baby was necessary because that dead baby is MY dead baby. That dead baby--the one you "didn't have time to look away from"--she's my daughter. Her name is Dorothy…

It's been over two years and I still don't know what to do with my daughter's remains.

All That Remains–Why I Haven’t Laid My Daughter To Rest

All that remains of my daughter, Dorothy, rests on my desk.  Nestled in between a stack of journals and my pencil cup of felt tip pens, there is a tiny ceramic urn adorned with a floral pattern in purple and ivory.  I wish I could give a poignant reason for her being there. But, the…

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, but we would rather have a lifetime with our babies.

I Would Rather Have A Lifetime: Why Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Month Will Never Be Enough

October is here. In my world, this means crisp leaves and chunky sweaters and it also means participating in Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  The month of October is widely recognized as a time to honor those families who know the experience of losing a baby. It might sound depressing to participate in a…

A stillbirth is still a birth.

I Need You To Know That My Stillbirth Was Still A Birth

Chances are, even if you don't know who, you know someone whose life has been impacted a stillbirth.  If you are aware of this, then you probably know how important it is to acknowledge and honor the baby who was lost.  You may have heard the parents ask for you to say their baby's name…

Enough with the silence--let's talk about stillbirth.

Enough With The Silence–We Need To Talk About Stillbirth

It was almost 9:00 at night when I was admitted to the hospital.  An hour later and I had been visited by doctors from at least four different departments.  There was the doctor from Maternal-Fetal Medicine who was there to give me the Cliff-Notes on preeclampsia and explain how shitty I was going to feel on…