We Can Imagine What It’s Like When A Baby Dies–We Just Don’t Want To

"I can't imagine what you're going through." If your baby has died, you have heard this phrase. I'll guess you've heard it more than once. Maybe it was written in a sympathy card that you could barely bring yourself to open in those first days of grief. It's what so many choose to say when…

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Dear Abby: Your Advice About Grief Is Not Helpful And It Hurts

Oh, Abby. I saw your column today--the one where you gave advice to Crystal in Nevada. She wrote to you asking how to cope with her aunt who had a stillbirth 20 years ago. Crystal wanted to know how to talk to this aunt who lives such a “morbid lifestyle.” To encourage her to move…

A grieving parent knows the ultimate heartache and they are never alone.

A Grieving Parent Knows The Ultimate Heartache–And They Are Never Alone

My baby sleeps on my nightstand--maybe yours does too. Maybe you know what it's like to open your eyes each morning and rest your gaze on that tiny urn containing your child's ashes. Or maybe your child spends their nights on a special shelf, on a table in your living room, or next to a…

I Didn’t Think I Wanted Photos Of My Stillborn Baby And I Was Wrong

I sat there, cradling my stillborn daughter in my arms when they asked if I wanted photos. I looked at them horrified--why would I want a photo of me holding my dead child? So, I said no. My medical situation was urgent and I was running out of time to hold my baby. Even though…

My Last Week With Dorothy: Day 2

My daughter, Dorothy, was stillborn on February 22, 2016 due to complications from preeclampsia. I have written a lot about her death and the life I’ve lived after, but I have written little about the events and moments leading up to her death. This series is dedicated to remembering my last week with her before…

My Last Week With Dorothy: Day 1

My daughter, Dorothy, was stillborn on February 22, 2016 due to complications from preeclampsia. I have written a lot about her death and the life I've lived after, but I have written little about the events and moments leading up to her death. This series is dedicated to remembering my last week with her before…

Through Loss, Grief, And Trying Again–He Was There

He was there the day that we saw that first positive test. When we danced around the kitchen, calling our families to share our exciting news, he was there. And, two days later, when the cramping began and I watched my dreams bleed out, he was there. He was there when we dared to hope…