After My Own Baby Died, I Now Avoid Baby Showers

They're having a baby shower at work and I will not be going. While everyone gathers together in celebration, I will find a place to hide. I will come up with an excuse for the co-worker who passes me in the hall on their way to the baby shower and wonders if I'm coming. I…

To The Woman Who Wondered If It Was Necessary To Share A Photo Of My Dead Baby

To The Woman Who Wondered If It Was Necessary To Share A Photo Of My Dead Baby

This is to the woman who wondered if a photo of a dead baby was necessary on a Facebook feed. Yes. That photo of a dead baby was necessary because that dead baby is MY dead baby. That dead baby--the one you "didn't have time to look away from"--she's my daughter. Her name is Dorothy…

An Unexpected Family Outing’s Top 10 Pieces of 2018

A year ago, as the calendar flipped to 2018, I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would do everything I could to rise and meet my dreams. One of those dreams was to further establish myself as a writer and this year was proof that dreams come true. My words have been…

After Our Babies Die–How Do We Do It?

How do we do it? Those of us who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss, how do we do it when it all seems impossible? When we are told the worst news of our life--how do we comprehend it? How do we stare at silent screens? How do we hear heartbreaking news? How do we…

The New Year May Not Be A Fresh Start–But It’s Also Not An Ending

I think we put a lot of pressure on New Year's Day. We are eager for a fresh start and we place our hopes inside that first little box of the month. We promise ourselves that this will be our year--our new beginning. But, that's not what happens on New Year's Day. Do you know…

The Holidays Hurt Because This Is Not The Last Holiday Without Them

This will be my third Christmas since my daughter was stillborn and it hurts that she's not here. For three years I have known the heartache of balancing grief and joy during the holiday season. I have learned a lot about how to cope during the holidays, so it seems like it shouldn't hurt so…

A stillbirth is still a birth.

I Need You To Know That My Stillbirth Was Still A Birth

Chances are, even if you don't know who, you know someone whose life has been impacted a stillbirth.  If you are aware of this, then you probably know how important it is to acknowledge and honor the baby who was lost.  You may have heard the parents ask for you to say their baby's name…

All Moms Need Support — Grieving Moms, Too

To All The Mamas Who Have Nothing But Love For Other Mamas, You know who you are. You're the moms who are constantly reaching out and waving your flags of solidarity for the new moms on the block. You are the moms who are there for the breastfeeding moms and the formula moms. You high-five…