My child has died, but their name lives on.

My Child Has Died, But Their Name Lives On

Before she was born, I knew our daughter would be Dorothy. From the very first time that her name graced my lips, I knew it would be the name that I wanted to speak forever.  In high school, I used to doodle my name with the surname of my celebrity crush so I could look…

Dorothy’s Birth Story–A Story Of Preeclampsia, Stillbirth, And A Mother’s Love

I had been in the hospital for a week after being diagnosed with severe preeclampsia and after an initial scare, it had been a rather uneventful stay.  They were ready to send me home and have me visit the hospital daily for monitoring.  I was on board with the plan.  I felt fine and Dorothy…

The Purple Blanket Isn’t Yours–A Letter To My Baby Born After Stillbirth

The purple blanket isn't yours. Even though it's the blanket that covered your car seat when you left the hospital. Even though it lay in the background of so many of your baby photos, Even though you sleep with it every night now that you're old enough. It's not yours. The purple blanket is your…

I wish Hallmark made a birthday card for my child who died.

I Wish Hallmark Made A Birthday Card For My Child Who Died

Every year, for the past 3 years, I find myself in the greeting card aisle. I stand there wanting to buy a birthday card for my daughter who was stillborn. Nervously scanning the rows of cards and looking for a label that says something like "Birthday For Child From Grieving Parent." Every time I walk…

My Daughters Have Never Met, But That Doesn’t Mean They Don’t Know Each Other

She found the photo on my nightstand. I flinched when she grabbed it, imagining the inevitable destruction that toddlers leave in their wake. Instead, I found myself surprised at the gentle and knowing way she cradled it in her hands. A very atypical move for our rough-and-tumble girl. "Baby." she stated in her breathy squeal.…

I Didn’t Think I Wanted Photos Of My Stillborn Baby And I Was Wrong

I sat there, cradling my stillborn daughter in my arms when they asked if I wanted photos. I looked at them horrified--why would I want a photo of me holding my dead child? So, I said no. My medical situation was urgent and I was running out of time to hold my baby. Even though…

It’s Not Just Mothers That Have Lost A Baby–Let Us Not Forget The Dads

Let's take a moment to recognize the dads--the grieving dads. When people acknowledge pregnancy and infant loss, they turn to the moms with their comfort and support. But it's not just the mothers who have lost a baby. Let us not forget the dads and their own experiences with the heartbreak of losing a baby.…

To My Stillborn Baby, I Still Carry You With Me

They said there was no heartbeat. They said you left. They said you died inside of me. And while that is true, we both know that you never really went anywhere. They told me that you would be born still. They said your eyes would never open, your lungs would never draw breath. They told…