To My Fellow Loss Mamas–I Love You No Matter What

Dear Courageous Mama, I want you to know that I love you. No matter when or how your baby died, you deserve nothing but love and support. And that, beautiful mama, is what I have for you. I love you in your moments of celebration.  I love you in your moments of grief. I love…

I Wish I Had Known That Stillbirth Was A Possibility

What I'm about to say might scare you and to be honest, it should. If you are pregnant or plan to be pregnant, there is a chance that your baby could be stillborn. Why am I telling you this? Because no one told me. Not even when I was on bedrest and doing everything I…

How Do You Love Your Post-Baby Body When There Is No Baby?

When your baby dies, you seek validation of their existence. Your heart scrambles for someone else to acknowledge their realness. A panicky feeling thuds within as you are left wondering if something can be real when you are the only one who knows it existed. The validation you are looking for will come and it…

To The Woman Who Wondered If It Was Necessary To Share A Photo Of My Dead Baby

To The Woman Who Wondered If It Was Necessary To Share A Photo Of My Dead Baby

This is to the woman who wondered if a photo of a dead baby was necessary on a Facebook feed. Yes. That photo of a dead baby was necessary because that dead baby is MY dead baby. That dead baby--the one you "didn't have time to look away from"--she's my daughter. Her name is Dorothy…

After Our Babies Die–How Do We Do It?

How do we do it? Those of us who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss, how do we do it when it all seems impossible? When we are told the worst news of our life--how do we comprehend it? How do we stare at silent screens? How do we hear heartbreaking news? How do we…

The Holidays Hurt Because This Is Not The Last Holiday Without Them

This will be my third Christmas since my daughter was stillborn and it hurts that she's not here. For three years I have known the heartache of balancing grief and joy during the holiday season. I have learned a lot about how to cope during the holidays, so it seems like it shouldn't hurt so…

We Hang Four Stockings In A House Where Three People Live

Someday, during a future Christmastime, I imagine that my daughter will ask me a question. Her tone will be inquisitive and her eyes curious, but it will not be a question deep with meaning. Instead, her question will be imbued with the simple curiosity of a child who notices when the number of stockings doesn't…

The day my daughter died was a hard day, but the hardest day of my life was the day I picked up her remains.

I Didn’t Know They Made Urns That Tiny

The day that my daughter died was a very difficult day, but it is not the worst day of my life.  It's not the worst day because it was also the day she was born.  Her birthday and her death day are forever intertwined--one a moment of light and the other a moment of darkness…