After The Death Of Our Baby, Attending Couples Therapy Helped Our Marriage Thrive

After our daughter, Dorothy, was stillborn we wasted no time in finding a therapist. To be completely honest, it was fear that drove me to make the initial call. I was terrified of what would happen to myself, my husband, and our marriage if we did not seek help. I knew we did not have…

Babies Don’t Die So That People Can Learn Life Lessons–They Just Die And It’s Tragic

So many people are comforted by the idea that everything happens for a reason. For every bad moment that life delivers, there's a lesson to be learned. I get why people think this way. It's a lot easier to accept life's hardships if we know something good will come from it. It's a nice theory…

We Need Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month But Not For The Reasons You Think

I'm a grieving mother. I've experienced two miscarriages and a stillbirth. Most of my babies have died. You would think that Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month would be just the month for me. Yes and no. You see, I don't really need a month to be aware that my babies died. I don't…

10 Instagram Accounts To Follow During Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

When your baby dies all you want is someone who gets it. Someone who says what you've been thinking, feeling, struggling to find the words for. If you've experienced pregnancy and infant loss, you know finding that person can feel impossible. In the real world you can't exactly walk up to someone at the grocery…

Finding The Words–5 Things To Say After A Baby Dies

When a baby dies it is devastating. It is an unexpected and heartbreaking tragedy. It is very possible that people might not know what to say and that makes sense. They may wonder how could words ever be enough to take away the pain? What could one possibly say to remove the burden of losing…

Dear Abby: Your Advice About Grief Is Not Helpful And It Hurts

Oh, Abby. I saw your column today--the one where you gave advice to Crystal in Nevada. She wrote to you asking how to cope with her aunt who had a stillbirth 20 years ago. Crystal wanted to know how to talk to this aunt who lives such a “morbid lifestyle.” To encourage her to move…

Why I’m Leaving The Cards On The Shelf This Mother’s Day

Last year on Mother's Day, I was walking through the grocery store when I ended up in the greeting card aisle. I was there for an anniversary card for my parents, but I glanced over at the Mother's Day cards and saw that the selection was completely picked over. A few random cards remained and…